Last Laugh

Three laughing faces peered at her through the back windshield.

Come on, the light is not going to be green forever.

Yet the car in front of her wouldn’t budge. Just as the light turned from yellow to red, the boys peeled out and took off across the intersection, leaving those behind, stranded at the signal.

Continuing the drive home, she recognized the same car parked down the road. Pulling over, she rummaged through the grocery bags, and 10 minutes later, drove off, snickering. Imagine when they realize there’s Cooking oil all over their windshield.

Good luck with that!

 


Photo Image: Kent Bonham / Friday Fictioneers (Rochelle) / 100 words exactly

AND this is my post for the Manic Monday Challenge:  Imagine

Exuberant emoji with multiple expressions

Okay, my grrrs!

Help me reach her…HEY TRICIA!

Tricia-bo-bisha…Trishey-pooh…Trish-the-dish.  Tricia-Magicia  Helloooo myageofacquarius (Aqua) girl over at OH GOD, NOW WHAT

This one’s for you, the emoji girl

There’s an Emoji movie coming out!  (about an Exuberant emoji with multiple expressions) Next month and it looks hysterical.  Let’s plan a cyber-go-and-see  – meaning, we can act like we are taking our families together to meet at the movies (same day) & “virtually see together” and comment after.  I think it comes out in August.  WHO’S IN?

How fun would that be – we all agree on a day – and we all go see it and blog about it!  Hahahaha!  Seriously, anyone game?  I know my kiddos are going to want to go – so why not?

Oh, and Tricia – you wanted a sarcastic emoji.  I found some that kinda feels that vibe.

This is me, “Um, yeah, Okay!”
REALLY?

 

um, yeah, that’s great, more power to you

 

Things I suck at

I hope my grrrrs can relate to one of these…There are some things I’m completely disastrous …my family / friends watch the entertainment unfold:


Peeling an orange/tangerine – (hey, watch mom)

Wait! What’s this?

Come on, trying to poke my finger in to get a peel.  Finally!  Except one teeny-tiny-bitty strip comes off. (ARGH!)  The rest is stuck on like cement.  Or…no peel at all…Uh, don’t tell me I have to bite into this thing?  ack!  Where’s the knife?  

 

**That’s why I ONLY buy cuties now.  I can peel those suckers.  When I’m visiting someone…Would you like an orange, uh, no thanks.  Oh, they are cut.  Okay then.


Opening any type item packaged in soft or hard plastic – (husband watches wife)

I just want a string cheese (biting and jerking)  F***K!   It’s supposed to slide open easily.  Why do I have the one not made right?   Where the scissors! 

I just want a battery!  Why is this packaging so difficult – where the scissors!  Why won’t they cut through?  (then I cut myself on the jagged plastic) OWWWW!  Stupid thing!

**That’s why I have my husband open all the kid’s toys packages.


cracking eggs (everyone watches with curiosity and celebrates when I have success)

Seriously, what the hell?  My mom taught me to use the edge of a butter knife to crack them nicely and I still can’t get it to go smoothly.  Crack, crumble, CRAP.  Oh, that’s a good one, yet there’s still an itty-bitty shell in the mix…and can’t get that damn thing out – what the hell?  Gaaaah.  Who wants eggs…

**That’s why my kids only know scrambled, because that’s all mom makes!  What’s over easy?  What’s poach?  By the time I’m done, they are already scrambled.  (I can pick out the teeny shell after cooked)  And don’t get me started on omelettes.   To flip/fold those suckers.  Disastrous mess!


Putting pillows into pillow cases (my husband hides and laughs while listening to my struggles)

Why? Why, won’t it go in?

“I don’t get it!”  I yell it to the ceiling.  I end up hopping around like a mad person…  

GET IN THERE

(mmmphpyyyh, ffffff, argghgh)  

Shakey-shakey.  End up shoving hand in to squish it down.  Yeah, I won, you sumbitch. OHHHHH, it’s twisted!  Damn it, I’m hot-n-sweaty now.

**That’s when my husband walks into the room to find a pillow and case abandoned in whatever state on the floor or bed – where ever I threw it.  He calmly fixes it in 2 seconds flat.  (I glare at him…don’t say anything)


So…maybe you can’t relate on mine…but maybe you have some of your own. (please) I don’t want to be the only hot mess out there!

Desperately Seeking

Photo: J.S. Brand for FFfaw Challenge

150 words exactly / Priceless Joy / FFfaw Challenge week 7/18/17


To find the answer, one had to journey to the other side. Many had stood at the base of this hill, as she does now, wondering what they would encounter. Each harboring thoughts, will they find the cure to what what ails them? As she began to climb, her feet grew heavier with each step. The stones beneath became magnets, the gravitational force increasing as she went higher. Trudging her way up the incline, her fear of the unknown escalated. They said each person sees something different at the summit. Gasping for air, she was staring at vast sky. No land or ocean could be seen, just air that seemed to wiggle. She could hear a hum, an exuding of energy. It must be a portal. How badly did she desire the knowledge? There’s no turning back now. She took a deep breath, and stepped off the edge into the abyss.


Side note: If you like challenges…Be sure to check out my new challenge. A Song Title will be released each Monday. Come participate and have fun! Click for details.  You have a whole week to write!  It’s not too late to participate this week!

Drivin’ My life Away

There are times when a song just says it best!
Those windshield wipers slappin’ out a tempo,
Keepin’ perfect rhythm with the song on the radio


Side note: If you like challenges…Be sure to check out my new challenge. A Song Title will be released each Monday. Come participate and have fun! Click for details.  You have a whole week to write!  It’s not too late to participate this week!

The above post is 140 characters exactly / In response to Twittering Tale # 41 / Kat’s photo

 

Motel Hell

My son is a lot like me, enjoying horror movies.  I introduced him to all the classics, first off, Halloween (the original) of course.  It’s still my favorite of all time.  Then immediately, followed by the sequel, which was even better!  He worked his way through the SCREAM series, and all the others.  (except we don’t own any of the Friday the 13ths)    We have Children of the Corn, which still freaks me out.    So, we own some of the classics like Exorcist, etc.

My daughter, on the other hand, cannot stand anything remotely scary or even too sad.  So, this weekend, we watched our best friends’ kids.  Both the 11-year-olds (neither fans of scary) played in the room and watched Netflix off the laptop.  Meanwhile, the 13-year-olds had the living room to power watch Child’s Play, and SAW.

I had forgotten about Chuckie.  Now, watching it, it’s actually funny.  The whole SAW thing is pretty gruesome as you move through the series, it becomes more gory.


Side note: If you like challenges…Be sure to check out my new challenge. A Song Title will be released each Monday. Come participate and have fun! Click for details.  You have a whole week to write!  It’s not too late to participate this week!

The above reason is why, when I saw today’s daily prompt of SOIL – I immediately thought horror movies.  There’s a campy one I’m thinking of…It didn’t get famous like Halloween, The Exorcist, or Chainsaw Massacre.  It was more B movie, but to a 9 year old, watching in the dark, for the first time it was released in 1980 (it was cutting edge – get it- cutting!)  and made it to the pay channel on ON/SELECT TV (before HBO there was Z- television, On, and Select). – does anyone remember Motel Hello?  Well, the O burns out on the marquee sign and becomes Motel Hell.  What made it hellish was the owners, would make the highway unsafe, so travelers would crash, and then they would bury them alive …  A garden, with special soil, a cabbage patch of HUMAN HEADS!  That’s the special ingredient in Farmer Vincent’s smoked meats, which they would sell to guests at their motel.

OMgawd – it looks like you can watch the entire movie on You Tube.   Haaaa, I got it playing right now!   It was considered they would do a remake of this movie in 2015, but they couldn’t agree on a story line and it’s still being contemplated.

 

Ssssh, it’s the library

Hey my grrrs!  The below article was inspired by Sight11’s post

Oh, and Be sure to check out my new challenge. A Song Title will be released each Monday. Come participate and have fun! Click for details.  You have a whole week to write!


Ssshhh, it’s the library!

Okay, so I just realized…wait, not “just” (it’s been known for a while) I’m strange.

I like going to the library.

What’s so weird about that?  I don’t go to the library for the same reasons others do.  In fact, I have not been in some time.  When the kids were tiny, my husband and I would attempt to be good parents, take our kids to the library and check out some books…thinking VOILA, kids will instantly develop a passion for reading.  They will be super smart and we could eventually send themselves out on their own.

Wrong.

I think we’ve taken them a handful of times.  I never had the patience to understand the filing system…and just when I thought I had a grasp on it – in came computers and stuff to complicate.  If I need something in particular, and take time to try and find it, most of the time it’s not there.  Then, I  have to ask someone, and they indicate oh, sometimes it’s put in this section or that section.  Or someone moved it.  Or I’m completely in the wrong section entirely.  So, I don’t ever go with a mission to find a particular book.  Ever.  Although, I must say, the Orange County Libraries “online” system is way cool!

It was easy when the kids were little, here’s the children’s section – go to it – mommy is going to sit in this quiet corner.  Maybe draw with some crayons at this table.  I didn’t have time to read.  So, I used that library time as “quiet time.” – which lasted about 10 minutes because 1 child always needed you.

But as they got older, go explore, I’d say.  As that’s what I do.  I just roam about…going up and down aisles.  I love the bound spines of older books and I like to pull out random books, gaze at them, and put return them to the spot they were.  Sometimes, I find myself tidying up the shelf.  I enjoy the smell of the books.  No, I’m not that crazy going around and sniffing the books…well, maybe once (or twice.)   Just being there, makes me feel intelligent.  I figure as I enjoy the A/C, I will absorb knowledge by simply walking by and touching objects.  Just as I might consider checking out a book or two…

…the kids, attempting to be quiet, do a STAGE WHISPER across the entire sections of the library.  If you’ve taken any theater classes, the first thing they teach is the stage whisper – whispering, but loud enough for the audience to  hear from the stage.  So – it’s loud.  And because it’s a whisper, it catches other people’s attention.

“MOM…HE WON’T LEAVE ME ALONE.” – (sssh) then I find myself gesturing frantically (from the other side of the library) at my son, to move away from his sister.  I get a strange look from a man near me, trying to interpret my mime because I almost smacked him in the process of me silently scolding my son.  (sorry, dude)

Then, my son will STAGE WHISPER back  “WHAT, I’M NOT DOING ANYTHING.  MOM, I CAN’T FIND ANYTHING.  THERE’S NOTHING I WANT TO READ”

Now, I have to go over and tell him to SHUT IT – and then try to assist him. (and now the librarian is frowning at us)  When I finally return back to my exploring, the kids are done and either I just leave or I grab 6 books, because I didn’t  have time to make up my mind about what I might want to read…if I find the time.  It can’t be anything requiring much thought.  Just some guilty pleasure.

Then, I forget to return the darn things.  I might have read or started one…and then It’s back they go.  Because I know this about me…most of the time, I just aimlessly walk around the library touching and smelling.

Besides, I’m a blogger…I’d much rather be writing then reading.  Although, I have been known to “power read” through a book if I like it.  It just doesn’t happen that often.