Sleeping on a marble

I haven’t been sleeping well.

I figure since I’m in my late 40’s, my HOT / COLD, HOT / COLD – throw the covers off, huddle back in… phase is due to me getting close to the woman’s “change.”

However, I don’t think that’s all the case, because I’m still on the young side for that.  I think our new home’s heating vents are poorly placed.  And with colder weather, we try to keep our temp around 67, while sleeping…so when the kids get up to shower for school, it isn’t too freezing in the bathrooms / bedrooms.

However, this means…with the recent colder nights, the heater constantly pops on during the evening, and being upstairs, and wrapped in blankets…it can feel warmer than 67.  Now…add in the way the builder designed our master bedroom, where the bed was really meant to only go against this one wall, that has strategically placed electrical outlets for lamps on nightstands.  So our bed went there…except the vent is directly above my face.  Even trying to manipulate the vent, I still get too hot!  And we are in the high desert…it’s BONE DRY…so the cold air / and then heat…I wake often with dry throat/nose, and drink tons of water…which results in frequent bathroom visits and saline nose sprays.

So…I end up flopping around the entire night…not to mention, I injured my left shoulder.  (that’s a story for another post) and it hurts to move it a certain way, so that makes turning over in bed, well, quite bouncy and with much effort that it wakes my hubby.

Recently, in the loft area, we bought this pretty cool “futon like” mini couch.  It’s faux “hard” leather, and easy to pop down the back.  It’s fits my height perfectly.  So, around 1 AM last night, I attempted to sleep on that.  Wait here’s some pics – this thing is pretty awesome.  Only $120 something at Walmart!

…Yes, no air vent was directly in my face, but the loft vent is a HUGE square, and has a filter…but the filter is too small for the cavity.  So you hear the heat turning on, and then a loud, WHOOOSH of air flow, that lifts the air filter and when it turns off, there’s a huge FLAP noise of the air filter settling back down.  I figured I was tired enough, 2 weeks of no true sleep, that I could ignore it.

Except, I just couldn’t get comfortable on this futon.  It’s firm, and nice…and I didn’t recall it having a hard middle, where it folds.  In fact, it’s soft…this furniture is quite perfect for our needs. Yet…something was not working.

Well…mystery solved…Just a moment ago, I discovered, the hard item was a marble in the middle, that my hip was laying on.  I was going through some kids’ items on that couch earlier in the day and didn’t realize one lone marble was with all the stationery items that I was organizing.  When I tossed all things on the floor, in the middle of the night, I had missed that.

Hmmm.  I’m so tired.  Where’s my coffee.

Me OW!

This learning to drive thing doesn’t seem so difficult. One sits in the seat behind the “spinny-thingy”, okay, I gave that a tap. Not very interesting, moving on – Oh, wait a minute. Now we insert sparkly, jingle-jangy thingys into that hole. You got my attention now, and I so desperately want to give those a smack too, making them wind chime some more, and… WHAT’S THIS? … the sun creates bouncing reflections on the surrounding parts of the car! Don’t worry, Driver person… I can get ’em! A scamper and a pounce outta do it, and I’ll capture those wild moving things! I almost got it, driver person! Wait, it moved it again…

…oh, wait, hold on… what’s that swinging thingy from the rear view mirror? And who is that handsome devil staring at me? MeOWwww. (purrrr) This driving activity is FUN!

142 words / FFaw Dec. 5th / hosted by:  Joy

Toss some Salt around…

Early morning, 5:30ish, I quietly went downstairs to start Thanksgiving morning. Since we had two tables, we needed 2 sets of Salt-n-Pepper shakers.  Went to fill up the decorative salt and pepper shakers for the first time ever…tilted one over, took the plug out and began to pour salt.

Immediately, I felt salt pouring in my hand that was holding the shaker…and assumed I was missing the hole (It was early) I stopped … only to realize, I was not missing, it was simply falling out the other end, because I was holding the shaker upside down. (Ugh!)

Although we don’t care for Turkey, my husband cooked a great bird.  It was moist and tasty due to cooking inside plastic bag, poking holes in bag and basting with a pad of butter.   Unfortunately, since we had no stuffing inside, the bird cooked a little faster and was done an hour sooner than planned.

The in-laws arrived right on time with the stuffing and variety of items (that we already had), to which my husband’s step-mother informed us that her daughter was always late.  (and a tip, to tell her to come 1/2 hour sooner to any event) – Eventually, She and her new boyfriend showed up about 45 minutes late…and her guy was carrying a 9X12 dish of pre-cooked TURKEY.  (WTF?)

When I inquired about the mashed potatoes and green beans she was supposed to bring, she said she brought them, but still had to make them.  She acted surprised, like she didn’t know that her boyfriend brought turkey.  Seriously?

Between the step mom and her daughter…they took over the kitchen to do their part of the dinner…except, the sister would “start” something and then leave.  She’d go visit or plop herself on the couch and text.  I kept asking who had placed something in the microwave, because it kept beeping that something was done.

She then yelled from the living room to the kitchen, “Oh, that’s the bacon for the green beans.  MOM.  check to see if it’s done.”

Of course, grandma, with wine in hand, was busy telling my husband what to do.  “I don’t know if your bacon is done.  You check it.  By the way, your instant mashed potatoes are burning.”

To which she yelled back, “Oh, stir those for me, MOM.”

Then she’d come back in the kitchen…I ended up leaving and finding a quiet corner of the living room, as my hubby was trying to carve the turkey, the other two began bickering.  Then they kept telling my husband, put everything in the oven to stay warm, while he carved.  The step-sister would walk out…and then come back in…finally to address the damn beeping microwave that had been going off for 30 minutes that contained bacon bits for the green beans.

“Where’s the green beans?  Where are the green beans?”

My husband calmly stated they were In the oven.  When inquired why he did that, “because your mom told me to, to keep them warm.”

She opened the oven door, and peered inside and said, “I can’t find the green beans.”

OMG they are right there.  Meanwhile, because she and her boyfriend are alcoholics, they drink a ton of coffee.  AND I MEAN, our poor coffee pot, I’m surprised still works, because she made like 10 pots that evening.  And one time, she didn’t get the pot on the actual burner and while the coffee was brewing, it was partially getting in the pot, and partially dripping onto the new counter top and down my new cabinets and flooring that is not meant to handle puddles of liquid.  (FUCK)  I had to run in, and try not to over-react, but quickly correct and clean.

After dinner, I eventually disappeared for a bit, while they all played nickel knock with the kids.  I came back to clean-up, and my son, sitting between grandma and auntie said,

“Why are you guys talking so loudly?  You’re right next to my face and saying LALAALALALA”  (I bust up laughing in the kitchen, because seriously, I’m loud…but holy shit…those two are so damn loud and they were basically yelling in my kids’ face, animated or disagreeing over the game.

There is so much more…like disagreements on flakey buscuits vs. rolls  and where the rolls will be placed.  It took me 2 days to recover.  No lie, it felt like I had a hang-over the following day, but only had 1 glass of wine the entire time.




Don’t you love when people invite themselves over and expect you to be gracious about  it?  That’s how I felt when my husband’s step-sister announced:

“Hey, so now that you’ve officially moved here, Thanksgiving at your house!”

Wait.  What?  Our house wasn’t even built yet and it was only end of August,  and was expected to be done around October.  Far too close to have us think about having people over…especially for a holiday celebration.

Her mom immediately seconded that announcement, as she was too old and tired to have at her home anymore.  Which I internally laughed, because the only person going to their house, was her daughter…that lived with her for a while.  It’s her own children that drain her and unable to care for themselves as adults  in their 40’s and 30’s.  And they have no kids.

It doesn’t matter that now that we are in the new house, we are still trying to have warranty items fixed, and trying to get boxes unloaded, etc.  We’re the big jerks if we don’t respond with “oh, sure, that would be great!”

So I’ve been running around, like a chicken-with-its-head-cut-off (ha!) trying to get boxes emptied, our living room / kitchen area somewhat nice – all I gotta warn is – don’t go to the 2nd floor.  I need a post like this at the foot of our stairs.

Danger No One Permitted Beyond This Point Sign.

Needless to say, I will be stressed out… It’s only 4 guests, but when you really don’t cook...and your hyper-critical, step-mother-in-law, is coming… my husband is going to save the day by taking responsibility for the turkey.  We don’t even like turkey.  Normally, my hubby would do prime rib or some kind of other meat.  Now, his dad is coming and traditional.  And all I keep seeing in my minds-eye…

a video playing of I LOVE LUCY moments and like that  movie, Rat Race, where Cuba Gooding Jr. is pretending to be a bus driver taking a bunch of “Lucys” to the I LOVE Lucy convention…and they blow a flat and lose the spare tire, and everyone whines…and the Asian Lucy yells out – “You ruined our whole vacation.”  But instead it will be “You ruined Thanksgiving!”



Discussing with hubby when we should pick up our Pumpkin Pie for Thanksgiving…my 14 year old’s theory of why we should pick it up now…

“So I’m thinking about pie…and I really think you should get it before Thanksgiving…so we have it for 3 days…you know like that formula of PI 
3.something-something… Means 3 days of PIE! “

So, who’s up for that logic?

This just happened last night, and reminded me so much of when my son was just toddling, and talking, not forming complete sentences yet…and after his first taste of pie (thanks to grandma)  Whenever he’d hear the word… He’d come wobble walking, as quick as his chubby little legs would carry him, calling out in earnest…

“I pie.  I pie…ma, I PIE.”

And would pat my leg for a delicious bite, and he’d wiggle his body a bit, back and forth as he chewed… and sometimes would lose his balance and fall on his diapered bottom.  But he’d pop back up for more!

A series of post leading up to Thanksgiving day…

The way I watch soccer

Saturday, I came down the stairs of my new house.  It’s been cooler each morning.  I’ve got slippers on (such a strange feeling) – a far cry different than our days in Southern, California, where it tended to be summer every-single-day.

Going from barefoot/flip flops to thick socks/fluffy slippers for the already cool mornings of Oregon, takes practice.  Seriously, I had to practice “slipping” in slippers and nearly killed myself going down the stairs. (ack!  Save me Jesus!)

Made it safely to the living room and switched on the tv and of course, my husband had the search feature set to “sports” and it took me a minute to realize, every thing I was looking at on the guide, was a sports channel.

It was random.  I scrolled two stations up, and paused to get coffee.  It ended up being soccer.  And before I walked into the kitchen, I was entranced by the two teams playing.

It was a red team vs. a white team with a blue stripe.  The Red team collected the ball and “took their time” lining up very strategically and taking their time passing the ball back-n-forth.  Granted, as much as that was soothing to watch, it become boring to me very quickly.  But the opposing team was the exact opposite, they were a flurry of activity.  When they got the ball, they were like the red team, but on SPEED.  The energy level went up extremely high.  The Red team would get it back, and SLOW everything to more controlled passing, and then the white team…if you listened closely,  I swear you could hear them buzzing like a swarm of bees.


Then, at of nowhere…the white team goes berserk and makes two amazing goals very quickly.  I stood dumbfounded just watching the footwork and the things they can do with a ball, going what seems to be 20 miles an hour on foot.  I’m watching for flames to shoot out from behind their heels, the latest rage in cleats.  Or become hover boards.

The announcers had indicated their amazement as the Red team, Manchester United “MU” were undefeated the entire season, and here the White Team (HUD) just scored…TWICE.  And MU had zero.

At that moment, my daughter stumbles down the stairs, her hair a wild mess, and she’s dragging a pillow and a throw blanket.  She flops herself down on the floor in front of the television, and rubs her eyes and says,

“You’re watching soccer, mom?  And, you have slippers?”

As if she couldn’t believe her eyes.  Now.  This is the funny thing.  See, I didn’t know anything about soccer as my parents were never fans.  I was very familiar with baseball, basketball, football, tennis, Ice Hockey, and even bowling, as my parents always either had on news, or one of those sports.  Never soccer.

…then I married my husband.  He grew up playing soccer and was very good at the sport.  He insisted our kids play, and I was like “wha?  Soccer, really?”  As time had it…I started to learn things. First of all, the darn OFF SIDE rule.  Wha?  Oh, and everyone yells “Off sides” and we had one coach correct us – it’s Off side…no extra ‘s’ at the end.  ( a little tid-bit for those other parents that may be unaware as I was)

My daughter, likes to play, and has watched bits-n-pieces on tv.  However, that’s typically because we force her to watch 5 minutes, to better understand the game.  She quickly looses interest with sports on t.v.

So, now…here we are… both watching and not being forced to by Dad (or older brother) having control over the t.v.  All by coincidence that the guide was set to sports channels. Regardless, dad would be so proud, if he weren’t still sleeping.

I finally get my coffee, and she grabs some powdery doughnut holes.  Someone is tripped and fouled in the game.  Between powdery bites,  she announces, clearly tickled by this revelation…and I’m thinking she is going to share some great soccer insight to this novice mom:

“Hey, mom!  That #2 and #25, they have on the SAME shoes!  No…wait…” She peruses the rest of the team as the camera spans outward, “Oh, the entire team has on the same shoes!”

Yes, but do those shoes shoot out flames or hover?”

…oh, and HUD won 2-1 over MU.  It’s been 65 years (according to the announcer) since they beat Manchester United.  So, we happened upon a history making game.  See, we know what’s up.