You are forewarned…this post might explode into some curse words – so proceed at your own risk:
“Non Committal” People frustrate me.
It’s even more aggravating, when these people are your “supposed” friends and extended family! As we are soon to be moving out of state, we’ve never lived anywhere but Southern California. We started a family in Lake Forest, and lots of the kids finishing elementary school/starting junior high, we’ve known many since pre-school. Early sports, etc.
We’ve formed bonds with certain families, attending birthday parties through out the years, school fundraisers, etc.
As time goes on, and people’s schedules become more hectic, it’s understandable we would seldom hang out like we used to in the past. However, we always think of each other as good friends. And are happy when we attend same events or see each other on the sports fields.
…well, that’s how I view everyone. So, when we get invited somewhere…I’m always excited and respond. I’m always thankful they thought to invite us, and say YES or tell them how much we wish we could, but unfortunately have something already on the calendar. If something BIG (like a wedding or a baby shower) I will try to rearrange my schedule so I don’t miss the “special” event.
That’s why I just can’t understand. And this confusion has now led to anger. After 13 years of living in Lake Forest and being part of many family lives, we are moving out of state to Oregon. This trumps other basic/generic parties and hanging out. The past few weekends, I’ve been “scheduling” pool party/pot-luck get togethers as a way to see small groups of family/friends before we leave.
How the hell is it so fucking difficult to get someone to commit! It’s should be, oh, you guys are leaving…we don’t want to miss saying goodbye, we can’t make that particular weekend – is there another time? Wow, you guys took our kids to Six Flags Magic Mountain, had great parties, coached/team mom’d our kids sports…always reliable to volunteer, took thousands of photos and gave us great posters. We’re gonna miss you…
NOPE. Crickets. Are you fucking kidding me?
Most of us are all on Facebook and communicate very often on there, so I do an EVENT and send invite. I know those that aren’t on their regularly, so I will text them on their cell to look at their event invite. First of all, either they don’t respond at all…or they ALL respond with “maybe” I schedule 3 weeks out to try an accommodate busy schedules. You mean to tell me – not one of you can say YES? (outside of our best friends, of course) – here it is the Monday before the weekend of party. Two weeks has passed and everyone, still bullshit maybes.
The ones that don’t respond at all, a week later, I’ll reach out to them on their Facebook main page and inquire if they saw the invite, “Oh, yeah, we can’t make it we’re busy.” Well, fucking say so and give us a nice sentiment, at least…especially since I just gave you half of my daughter ‘s bedroom toys for FUCKING FREE.
I don’t know who’s worse – the no responders or the MAYBES. We’re going to wait and see if something better comes up, or see if we feel like going that day on the day of. Doesn’t matter that you are trying to coordinate a pot luck. Which is another thing. if we offered free food and booze… who knows.
So, yes, I’m pretty amazed at how shitty and selfish people are and these parents (who I had admired other times) are teaching their kids – the next generation – that this is completely acceptable behavior! Non-committal and it’s all about satisfying your desires. I’ll hang with you if I have nothing better to do.
I’m sure if we won the lotto, and rented out a big facility with lights and DJ – everyone would be there…because that would be the event to attend and not miss this summer.
Screw you, the people I called friends.
And my family…my step sister told me the Saturday I suggested, her kids start school that Monday, so she’d be too busy and were thinking of having a pool party themselves…so if we wanted to drive and go see them? I told her that we were trying to see other people and schedule a group get together at our place. Selfish. The kids are 2nd and kinder – how much prep is involved for 2 days? I’m packing up our lives and moving out of state! hang out for an hour say goodbye and be done? Fuck we’ll just see you Christmas at grandmas. (maybe, if we choose to return this year or don’t have something better planned)
This post was brought to you by Stiffler – a Stiffmeister moment