Sunny Days up ahead?

It’s usually a sunny day in our household.  Oh, who am I kidding…not with a 13- year-old and 11 year-old.  It used to be…The last year, or so, it has been cloudy, at best, and other days a thunderstorm!

Yesterday, I rained down some terrible news on our son.  Oh, the pain of growing up and becoming independent.  My son is appalled:

“Why do I have to pay for myself? Why don’t you do it? This is something you and dad pay for.”

You calmly explain to the child, who is currently rolling his eyes back in their sockets…  (Is that really necessary?) … that he needs to understand how much a movie costs. And eating lunch out with his buddies. How one can’t learn the value of money, if they don’t work for their allowance by doing chores, saving it, and budgeting to decide what they want to spend their money on.  

“But then it’s going to be ALL GONE!”

You then confirm that is exactly why he needs to learn how to budget, and now he’ll want to do chores to earn money for the things he desires. He’ll find, he may not need candy while watching a movie or maybe ,rather, invite friends over to go swimming – a free activity. (more eye rolling ensues and weird sounds escaping his mouth – was he struck by lightning?)


We’ve always told (warned?) the kids “the day was coming” where they will have to eventually start paying for their own extra activities. with their allowance. This is the summer for both of them.  Primarily, I don’t have any money.  My job has been slow, with no work in the summer, and my husband has the “other” cash tied up in the new house we’re getting.  And, to move all of us to a completely different state is more of an expense than initially realized.

So, I’m packing boxes and I come across my kids’ stash of money.  Saved from birthdays, Christmas’, and the occasional chore we rewarded allowance for…over years.  My son has acquired  a large wad…whereas his sister spends more freely.  They have more money than I!  Holy smokes!  They have been hoarding, while we continued to state “some day” (in the future) they were going to have to start paying for their activities, but we always continued to pay for them.  In fact, they never really needed a regular allowance, which meant they weren’t really motivated for a chore list.

Epic parent fail there.  Now we have to introduce regular daily chores to them at 11 and 13? At least they are doing their own laundry for the last year.  I did that part right.

BUT THE BUCK STOPS HERE.  Literally.  I  have no more $$ to give.  So if they want to do anything this summer, they have no choice but to fork out their own cash.  And my son acts as if this is the FIRST he’s ever heard of this nonsense.  (what’s this crazy talk about kids paying for stuff themselves?)  Otherwise, they are in for a very boring summer.

I posted this sentiment on Facebook, and some other parents responded their children were feeling the same pain.  One parent told me they had just opened savings account yesterday for her 3 kids, and a debit card for the 13-year-old.  (oh, yeah, I’ll have to do that too when we move) As they were driving away, one of the younger kids yelled out,

“WAIT!  Where’s my money?”

Whoa, wait a minute! The jigs up, mom!  Time out – where’s my money!  They’ll be saying that the rest of their lives.  And I can only think about that song, with the lyric Bitch better have my money.  (old school – AMG) completely inappropriate, but it’s still in my head. (just the chorus) the rest of the song is nasty.

 

 

 

 

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21 thoughts on “Sunny Days up ahead?

    1. My son hasn’t yet gotten up this morning. I’m sure there will be more body flopping on the couch, eye rolling, and “Are you serious?” – when I tell him to grab some money as I drop him off at the food court / movies with his buddies.

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    2. A money grab, Come on. That’s hilarious. I am not an expert, no pretty much I am clueless in this area. You should definitely ask your Mom for advice. Or maybe this was her advice?

      Liked by 1 person

    3. hahahah – well, my mother would be disappointed in me and my lack of parenting skills… She had me doing weekly chores (for free -as my duty of living there) and as soon as I was old enough to have a job (16) she had me working at Del Taco and had to pay for my own car insurance. My mom didn’t mess around.

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    4. Well I knew she is a strong lady. But times have change. And no one learns it. And strangely every culture have different standards for parenting. Do you know In Asia the parents look after the child, than the grandchildren. Free Nanny, Yay.
      I was watching it and couldn’t believe it. But I guess there is nothing wrong with their perspective. Its the cultural thing. For me Horrifying.

      Liked by 1 person

    5. Yes, in this particular era/ and area, kids don’t do things by themselves any more..like go outside and play and come home when dusk…or hop on bike and go ride somewhere… I’m purposely having my son go by himself to the movies to meet his buddies. He’s 13! I was out and about the city at 10. Going to friends houses, swimming, etc. My parents weren’t home, they both worked and I wasn’t given money.
      Parents now pay for everything all the time. We have 1 friend that he always has $40 bucks on him. And is always buying large amounts of candy, etc. He has no clue about earning and saving – he knows how to budget the daily amount he gets, but doesn’t feel the “pain” of spending. Wow, I just spent $40 on video games and candy. Now I don’t have money for a trip to Knotts Berry Farm. He just tells his parents he needs more money. No wonder these same kids are growing up and Adults are complaining how “entitled” the youth are… well… is really that surprising? I’ve already seen the mistakes I’ve been making. My son is already someone feeling like things are owed to him, when he’s done nothing to earn them for simply being our son. I have to correct that now. (sigh) Because I love him and want him to be a successful adult and a positive impact on society. Not a lazy bum expecting everything for nothing.

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    6. Well you have to tread the waters carefully here. I mean it. I am worried for you guys. It is not only he is at the stage where he is experiencing something(that is for him) unusual, but also he will be an example for the Younger one too. I think ‘I did it, so you do it’ argument won’t help.

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    1. On Eid al Adha Muslims who have the means to sacrifice hold it every year. You can read about it at https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eid_al-Adha

      My late husband and I used to do Son and his ex’s sacrifice alongside ours, and paid for it for years, till someone knowledgeable told us that Son should do it himself since he has enough money to do so.
      The year we told Son to do so, he was okay with it, but his ex wife showed her displeasure openly, and became antagonized with us.

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    2. Thank you for sharing, and appreciate you taking time to teach me! I tried to google before I responded to you originally and was unsuccessful. I am sorry that has happened! That’s terrible. She should be more understanding.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. I was trying to find this article I saw yesterday on Facebook but I couldn’t, so I’ll give you the basics of it – it was about a mother who was sick and tired of her kids acting bored and eating all the food in the house during the summer. So, she gave them a budget (I think it was $30 for the week) and they had to budget it to get themselves all of their breakfasts and lunches during the week – anything left over was their “fun” money to do things with their friends. It was an interesting idea.

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    1. Definitely a good idea! NO WAY, my kids could eat on $30.00 for the week without it being PB and J all meals. Fruit alone is so expensive. But definitely, an idea to entertain.

      Liked by 1 person

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