Don’t Dark and Drive

My mom is funny.

Although many grandparents drive to see their grandkids play sports, she is of the mindset, we should be driving the kids out to see her all the time.  I laugh, because we have such a busy schedule, with sports on the weekend that to travel to her home about an hour in 1 direction, is nearly impossible, with homework, projects, etc.  Her reasoning is that she’s OLD.  If you talked to her at all, one might think she is 90-years-old!  I’ve seen her drive her little stick-shift Honda like the Little Old Lady from Pasadena.  “Go, granny, go granny, go -granny-go”

My mom is a young mom, she had me at 19.  She’s the youngest out of all my friends’ parents.  Yet, she acts like she is the oldest of all of ’em!  She even retired early:

“I don’t think I’m going to live that long before my body falls apart.  So I want to enjoy time with my husband while I got some good years.”

That’s another thing, my mom is apparently dying.  Before you offer your condolences, keep in mind, she has been dying since her late 30’s!  Yes, she has had years of severe headache issues, and a long time with irritable bowel that rendered her housebound and nutrient void for a time,  so that was terrible…

But she finally got over that, it seemed when she retired and stress-free. Apparently, the post office will do that to you.  Life is good.   So good, that they keep the same house, and travel to Palm Springs to their 2nd home a retirement community where they have a mobile home (a 2 hour drive one way).  Or take a trip to Vegas ( a 5 hour drive – one way)

So I figure, she’ll come to some of the kids’ games.  It shouldn’t surprise me that I can barely get her to arrange to come to the last playoff/championship game because they are too busy.  Um, okay?  It’s a pleasant surprise when they do make a game, hey- Grandma and Grandpa are here!  You didn’t tell me mom…cuz I didn’t know?

She now is on me about getting the kids to her before we move out of state.  I’m trying to work, pack, and entertain the 11 and 13 year old with some summer activity.  I don’t have time to drive two hours of my day and grandma doesn’t have wifi, or a computer for that matter.  She doesn’t believe in those things.

So I try to coordinate a visit by suggesting I leave only 1 of the kids with her (the 11 year old) for a couple of days since it’s summer break and she hasn’t seen them much:

 “Oh, honey, just one day – I’m too old.  You keep forgetting that I’m older.” 

What I wanted to say and be snarky:

“Too old for what?  You’re not changing her diaper!  She likes to watch TV.  And eat.  I’ll bring her tons of snacks.” 

Instead I replied with reasoning:

“But it doesn’t make sense for me to drive an hour, drop her off, drive an hour back … just to do it the following morning!  That’s too much driving. for a short visit” 

So this subject has been “tabled.” – in the interim,  I decided to do a “farewell” pot-luck party at the apartment pool deck inviting 3 of her friends that had a large part in my upbringing as a kid.  Just them and my parents.  A nice visit  by the pool, because my dad’s birthday is earlier that week.  I told them I ensured it was 3PM (late in the day, so it is not as hot), but early enough that they can get home before dark, because I know she doesn’t like to drive in the dark.

I get a text that indicates she has marked the date on her calendar and that

“I also said my eyesight is worse and it is harder 2 drive at night.”

OM Gawd, mom.  I just simply said you don’t like driving at night – same meaning.  Once again, reminding me that she’s old…oh, so old.  Instead, I replied:

“Yes, mom, you don’t want to Dark and Drive.  Hence the 3pm time.”





5 thoughts on “Don’t Dark and Drive

    1. Are we going to be this way when we age? And have grand kids? My mom can drive everywhere but to see us – but anything we ask of her “she’s too old” – but she parties more than we do. Has 3 cars, 2 places to live and complains the can barely make ends meet. It drives me crazy. Meanwhile, I’m super busy and she’s mad because I don’t drive the kids out to see her enough. At least she’s not worrying about a water snakes. I have to hear about the LOUD CROWS in her back yard.


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