When you die, don’t give people your crap – please

10 X 13 heavy metal frame. Could be a weapon!

Now is the time to de-clutter, people.


And have that talk with your spouse, children or person responsible to seeing to your final resting place…

Because when you die, those closest to you feel the need to give whatever crap you hoarded over the years, to those around them.  A small slice of it might be out of grief, but primarily they want to “unload” the junk on others because they don’t feel “right” throwing it away – a person just died after all…so they give it to someone else! (because they don’t want it)

“Wait, before you go…Here’s this (ugly, heavy, sharp) frame of Jesus, your Uncle Dan loved so much,  And this runner for the table.”

The runner has black stains all of it.

THEN, that person is stuck holding something they really don’t want, but now they feel obligated to retain because you gave it to them…and the person just died – it would be disrespectful to decline.  No matter that they weren’t close to the deceased.  And it’s Jesus, that would be blasphemous to dispose of later, right?   Then, a cycle begins of trying to pass it off to the other family members.

“Uh, we’re not catholic.  I’m sure your sister would appreciate this piece of art.”

You suspect that good ol Uncle Dan and his spouse fought over keeping that thing, and Dan must have won…and spouse couldn’t wait to get it out of their place.

Christmas ornaments from Great Grandma Helen’s Tree. Treasure them. The other item is an angel mouse.

And sometimes, it’s not even someone recently deceased but a person clearing out their garage and moving…but refusing to toss out anything so they give them to you to store…or wrap them up and give to your kids as Christmas gifts!  (no lie.) stating they were from great – grandma and to “Treasure them.”   My kids never met their great-grandma and you want them to cherish the mini ceramic angel (from the dollar store) with a broken wing or use that hideous crocheted blanket of yarn – that my husband refuses to toss and we keep storing?  The 4 and 6-year-old kids don’t understand why you gave them carved candles, they can’t use, in form of creepy angels as a Christmas gift!

This actually is in good shape

Some would accuse me of not being sentimental.  This is not true.  If your favorite grandparent and you used to put puzzles together, and there’s a particular puzzle – a map of the world – and you chatted about all the places you would go…and they pass, it would not be odd to want to keep that puzzle.  It has sentimental value to you, personally, it reminds you of those good times with grandpa.  That would make sense.

chunks of her face are missing.

It’s one thing if you have an heirloom directly from Germany, like a carved Stein that can be cleaned up and put on a display shelf – that’s a nice keepsake that might have been passed down through generations.   But NO,

we don’t want that last tissue used by Uncle Dan before he passed away.  Thanks.

My dear hubby is traveling this Father’s Day.  And, I’m going through all our Christmas stuff, and I’m predicting a handful of ornaments from grandma will mysteriously be lost in our move.  But I don’t think he’ll even notice.  That frame, however, if my husband thinks that is coming with us into our new home – he’ll be sorely mistaken… I mentioned it could be a weapon, right?  Airport security stopped my husband for bringing it in his carry-on.


11 thoughts on “When you die, don’t give people your crap – please

  1. You’re back sis I CAN’T BELIEVE IT—yeah, WordPress is still stuck with me. Love the post, and to think that I was going to leave you my blog—gotta be worth at least 99 cents by now. But that’s okay, I’m still gonna leave you my brain—I remember how you were into the abnormal—I mean, you always (at least 67% of the time, anyway) would read my posts. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Did you think I was actually reading those? – my thoughtful responses just somehow matched. I think if you willed me your blog, I’d end up with a big head ache – I ‘m just not as clever. And apparently, from your last post- you are too many people. I’d lose my mind, but then I’d physically have your brain…. but I don’t want to be Batman. Black is not my color, or any color for that matter. See. Doesn’t work. So, I’m thinking you can give it to another cousin! Thanks! You will be missed though… in the far future, of course!


  2. I can’t begin to express how much I agree with this. People aren’t the sum of their possessions — especially their old, worn-out, crappy possessions that they didn’t even care about when they were alive. When loved ones have passed away, all I’ve asked for are photographs, so that I can scan them and share them with family. It’s the memories that are important — not a frayed piece of twine from 1963.


    1. exactly! We’re moving and I’m trying to reduce and go through all our boxes from our first move when we sold the condo…this is the second phase – reducing, reducing – trying to get rid of my own crap…and my husband comes back from Chicago with that ghastly frame. It’s sitting in my kitchen right now. I wonder of its fate. Does my husband actually plan to pack it into a box? Where we are going to store it for some undetermined time frame? It’s certainly not hanging up on any wall of my new house.

      Liked by 1 person

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