Low, Down, Dirty Dishwasher Deal

Dishwasher- blowing up                            …Just get some dynamite and blow it up

So, where oh, where, did I leave off on Friday night… just hours before we’re supposed to have our OPEN HOUSE.

Oh, that’s right.  Jenean and Harvey went to his house to have a “meeting,” poor David was left out of the loop.  It was the Jenean and Harvey show now…and off they were to Home Depot.  For what, we don’t know…but I had a sense it had to deal with us.  Meanwhile, we waited for this Military guy, supposed prospective buyer, to show up.  We don’t think there was really a guy coming, but we waited an extra 15 minutes, just in case.  By then, we were starving and went to dinner.

After dinner, we decided to hit Target for a new Welcome mat to withstand the STAMPEDE of people expected on Saturday.  (Hey, we were having Outback Steakhouse food being offered, we needed a heavy-duty entry mat for all those free-loaders.) 

As we walk through the door and grab a cart, the phone rings.

Jenean.

Cell phone clip artIt’s 7PM, WHAT does she want?  The answer is NO.  I earnestly told my husband.  Whatever it is, it’s NO.  Bill did not want to pick up the phone and it went into voicemail.  Surely enough, two seconds later, my phone rings…I close my purse and don’t pick it up.

We looked at each other in fear, dreading what she was going to tell us.  We immediately begin whispering under our breath…  I bet you it’s the dishwasher…I bet you it’s the laundry room floor.  Bill tells me, you call her.  I’m not going to call her.  You’re  the point of contact on all this stuff and you’re in SALES.  Do your sales, wheel-n-deal stuff.  I’ll watch the kids.

And off I went with the kids to have them pick out a Welcome mat before he could argue otherwise. 🙂

Bill gets on the phone (I can hear him on the other aisle),

“Well, we waited… until 5:45.  Oh, the people came…Why are you just calling us now at 7pm?  Oh,they didn’t like the dishwasher?  It was a deal-breaker?”

I skid around the corner…SHE’S LYING (I hiss.)

“The tile in the laundry room is too pink?  Well, it was fine until you had us paint the walls another color – that gray pulls out some pinkish, but so what – it’s not Barbie pink”.

Condo photo- laundry room

That’s our laundry room above, you can see a little of the “Pink” tile.  She continued to wail about how they figured out a fix.  They went to a few Home Depots, man what an effort on their Friday night, to finally purchase the perfect area rug to cover the spot next to washer/dryer.  Hide that pink.  Whew…avoided a crisis there!  (close call)

“Well, thanks?  We didn’t ask you to do that, you did it of your own accord.  We had no idea you were doing that.”

But that wasn’t the real reason for the call.

The Dishwasher.  It has a bubble.  You have to replace it.  It’s a deal-breaker.  See the military guy didn’t even want it because of that.

What?

me in the background… “Let’s just get rid of it then.  Get some dynamite and blow the sucka up… it’s Target, I’m sure we’ll find some on an aisle here somewhere.” 

uh…excuse me sir…where’s your dynamite?

…to be continued

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7 thoughts on “Low, Down, Dirty Dishwasher Deal

    1. well said! Seriously, I don’t know much about those programs, but am aware of their existence. It doesn’t help that we live in Orange County (South OC- near the beaches) where a lot of those Desperate Housewives (or whatever that show is called) live. One gal lived in Dove Canyon – nearby us and another in Newport Beach…the beach we go to. (we used to live there before kids)

      I didn’t realize we were hiring an interior designer on a zero budget (or let’s just put it on this credit card…um this credit card…oh, wait..here another credit card) kind of budget. My story gets better, by the way…

      Liked by 1 person

  1. So GI Joe—leader of men, one who spits led, eats grubs if need be, in order to survive—can’t take bubbles on the facing of the dishwasher. What a wuss. But that Jenean, her villainy still knows no bounds. I can’t wait until the epic showdown in the final chapter.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Of that I have no doubt. And I’m beginning to think this whole GI Joe thing may just be a clever ruse for the evil real estate agent, Jenean, to sneak into the much put upon home owners place. My theory is; she’s a megalomaniac bent on world domination and is hoping to turn their place into her secret lair, from which she’ll conduct her nefarious plans to conquer the universe. Boy can you right. No one would have ever seen that plot coming. 😀

      Like

  2. when we put our house on the market i spent weeks painting, cleaning, fixing..all the crap you are doing. The walls were originally a light aqua and very nice..dark royal trims……the people that bought our house? painted the walls light aqua and a royal blue trim. I wanted to KILL that agent!

    Liked by 1 person

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