A phrase I now despise


Clip Art Illustration of a Professional Woman Holding a File andKnock, knock… anyone home?  How’s it going?

So, a lot happened this past weekend, outside of a crazy gurgling, bubble-spewing toilet. (see my last post)  Let’s focus on one piece of Friday alone.

After our condo was listed on the MLS last week, our realtor said we’d get some nosy realtors/people coming by requesting to see our place early.  No matter their excuse, we were (under no circumstance) to allow them entrance, we’re still working, and DON’T answer any questions, refer them all to her.  Because we could ruin the deal by simply being people the buyers “just didn’t like” for whatever reason.

What do  you mean, everyone likes us?  But, okay, got it.  No show and tell.  We’re too busy with last-minute laundry list anyway.  Of course, we immediately get someone who drives up – sorry, your buyer is leaving town to return to China today, talk to our realtor.  We have boxes everywhere anyway.

During this whole process, our Realtor has had a penchant for showing up unannounced under whatever false pretense or  calls us “while in neighborhood,”  to stop by “real quick” to give / tell us something that really is a ruse to ensure we are “on task” with our project(s), which is fine… EXCEPT she stops our work, and then inquires about things we haven’t yet done, but haven’t forgotten because they are on our list… and then inevitably adds to our list.

Therefore on Thursday, my hubby tells me, “Oh, yeah, she wants to stop by on Friday around 1pm and get started on setting up”  This annoys the heck out of me.  NO.  Why?  We have until 10AM Saturday to get everything done & leave, so she can set up before showing at 12:00.  It’s a condo.  What does she need to do that requires more than 2 hours of “set up” time?  Fine.  Whatever.

I get him to push back the time to 2pm because I know she is just going to STRESS US OUT…  So, on Friday at noon, my hubby gets a call.  Oh, she has a military guy that is on duty this weekend, and has only Friday night to see the place, and it seems legitimate.  Can we hurry-up and have place ready to show by 5:30?  She’ll come at 5.  NO.  We thought NO ONE could see the place until Saturday’s OPEN HOUSE.  But, of course, can we really say that?  So, my hubby agrees and now we’re even CRAZIER than before attempting to clean everything.

So, silly me… I’m thinking we have until, at least, 5pm.  That’s 5 hours.  Hubby stopped doing paint touch-ups and last-minute maintenance…we just focused on cleaning and getting boxes in our car.  The kids were home at 2:30 and we put them to work.  So, dad is in the bathroom scrubbing, son is vacuuming room, daughter is wiping down the staircase, and I’m dusting in the living room while simultaneously doing the dishes and putting away laundry… it’s noisy… lot’s of activity…

And I hear my daughter calling to me from the staircase.  Over the noise of the vacuum… what? (blah, blah, blah) … What?  Did she say Janine was here?  I listen closely, trying to block out the sound of the vacuum… and I hear…

“Knock, knock…anyone home?  How’s it goin?”

Are you kidding me?  It’s only 3pm!  We got two  more hours!  So I lose it and YELL down over the noise.

“WE’RE NOT READY YET!  we are not READY!”

Why is she here so early?  She better not have the buyer with her.

So, I hear the front door close…and 10 minutes go by and I think they must have left.  I’ll feel badly about yelling at her/them later. (I’m guessing her assistant, David, was with her)

Nope, they didn’t leave… after 10 minutes, Janine and David, and some other DUDE… we’ve never met before… come up the stairs with BOXES of crap.

“Hi, I’m Harvey.  I’m going to be looking some things over.”

Who the hell is Harvey?  And what is his role?  And why are there so many boxes?

…to be continued



11 thoughts on “A phrase I now despise

  1. OMG…did you hire the Realtor from Hell? does she not understand what the word SATURDAY means? didn’t SHE set the open house up and what the Hell is she thinking? Here’s praying, hoping, sending out flares and making bonfires to dance around nekkid while shouting imprecations to the realty fairy that YOUR HOUSE SELLS!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. probably a banker. our RE lady had a “follower” that was the mortgage dude wanting to “preauthorize” a buyer. freaked us out. he’s usually got an appraisal certificate as well. could be a good thing.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Harvey, that international mystery man of real estate, that Harvey? And he just suddenly shows up, out of the blue, at your door, and with boxes no less—MANY BOXES—and your suspicious? Homeowners the world over would kill for a chance meeting like that. Sandi, it’s Harvey…thee HARVEY! You’re getting him to look at your home…without ever having the chance to kill anyone! You, are one lucky homeowner. Unless, of course, he’s not…THEE HARVEY! In which case, you may have had an impostor Harvey visit, instead. The suspense is killing me. I can’t wait for the next chapter to this story.


  3. What a nightmare. They need to do a spin-off TV show called “House Hunters from Hell,” and they could feature your situation as the debut episode. It all sounds like a horrific “Seinfeld” episode!


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