She wants a Cadillac…

…My grandfather told the Honda car salesman…

(gasp, no I don’t) – before I could interject my HUGE objection, he repeated himself.

“Trouble is, she wants a Cadillac, but she only has Volkswagon VW budget.”

When I was 18, I was ready to buy my first car.  I had been working since I was 16 and saved, saved, saved.  My grandfather happened to be visiting, and I rarely got to spend any time with him during my youth.  Therefore, my mom thought it would be a great idea if I asked my grandpa to come with me and “help” negotiate the purchase of my very first car.  Create a memory with him.  $2,000 dollars worth memory that I worked two years for…

Except, I didn’t realize he’d ruin my dream.

At the time, Honda Civic CRX’s were the craze.  That’s what I wanted.  So off we went, to the Honda Dealership that had some older “trade-in” cars on the lot, which was (in reality), more or less what I was probably going to get. (Unless my grandpa could convince the salesmen to come down in price on the CRX) and make reasonable monthly payments.

Except, my grandpa had no intention of even bothering with that.  I didn’t need a brand new car and payments.  I needed a trade-in car, someone’s hand-me-down or jalopy.  Before we even saw the selection…

Oh, no!  No Grandpa.  The only Cadillac that flashed through my mind were the 70’s BIG BOAT ones –  the kind Elvis drove around in and gave to his people that he verbally abused, fired, and then gave them a car as an apology.  The same kind, I remember Johnny Cash singing about “One Piece of a time.”  An image of my aunt’s incredibly old caddy that was falling to pieces, the boat that carried all her 6 kids flashed through my mind.  NO.  I don’t want a used Cadillac.  No kid drives those.  I would never, in a million years, be able to parallel park, or regular park, for that matter.

Only grandpas owned them.  Didn’t he see License to Drive where the Cory’s (Corey Haim, and Corey Feldman) took his grandpa’s caddy for a spin? (and ultimately destroyed it – flattened)

I would have remotely considered a used Pink Cadillac that Aretha Franklin sings about on her Freeway of Love and Bruce Springsteen’s Pink Cadillac songs.  Of course, my teenage mind had no clue that both those tunes are a reference for sex.  All I know is, it sounded fun.

I later realized that gramps didn’t truly mean I wanted a Cadillac, but was using it as a reference (back-in-his-younger-days) that was THE car to have, and typically for the wealthy.  Meanwhile, a VW bug was the working mans auto. (outside of a Pinto)  That day no deal was struck.  The salesman refused to come down on  CRX price, and my grandpa only wanted to look at clunkers…and not buy on the first outing.

I was too irritated with him for a 2nd outing.  I wanted my own vehicle now.  Not later (I had saved for 2 years already)…nor did I want someone else’s headache.  I quickly realized we would not agree.

Flash forward to the present:

One of our elderly neighbors has a car just like the first photo I posted.  That thing, he NEVER drives and leaves in the parking stall in the common area of the condo complex.  Space is limited.  I hate parking on the opposite side of it, because it’s a pain in the ASS to reverse and not hit it.  Often, I’m required to Pull back, pull forward, pull back a couple of times to maneuver around the thing. It becomes tiring on a regular basis.

For being such a “freak” about his car, often saying “Better not hit my car.  Someone tore the roof and it cost me thousands of dollars to repair.”  Yet, he doesn’t ever drive it, or take it to Classic Auto Shows.  It just sits uncovered, in everyone’s way, collecting cob webs on the wheel wells.

I don’t get the fascination with those 1970’s models.  They are just too damn big.  Unless they are the older, truly classic version.  Presently, I would be okay with a late 50’s model, grandpa!  Of course, I still am living on a 1968 VW bug budget.  So no dice.  (sigh)






4 thoughts on “She wants a Cadillac…

  1. Here is what I want. From The Simpsons

    “Can you name the truck with four wheel drive,
    smells like a steak and seats thirty-five..

    Canyonero! Canyonero!

    Well, it goes real slow with the hammer down,
    It’s the country-fried truck endorsed by a clown!

    Canyonero! (Yah!) Canyonero!
    [Krusty:] Hey Hey

    The Federal Highway comission has ruled the
    Canyonero unsafe for highway or city driving.


    12 yards long, 2 lanes wide,
    65 tons of American Pride!

    Canyonero! Canyonero!

    Top of the line in utility sports,
    Unexplained fires are a matter for the courts!

    Canyonero! Canyonero! (Yah!)

    She blinds everybody with her super high beams,
    She’s a squirrel squashing, deer smacking, driving machine!

    Canyonero!-oh woah, Canyonero! (Yah!)

    Drive Canyonero!

    Woah Canyonero!



    1. She does drive the truck but to be fair, we traded in her car to get it. She likes my car too, so when I go outside in the morning, I get to discover which vehicle I have access to that day. If we had a Canyonaro, she would drive it like Marg did. (Hilarious episode)

      Liked by 1 person

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