If you didn’t want us to move…

Could you have not made it clear sooner than … NOW?

God, the forces that be, mother nature – all involved… could we not have had a “heads up” sooner?


We just got royally fucked.  (sorry, for the F bomb, but seriously)  FUCK.

It is soooo bad.  My husband and I just got done crying.

As my “grrrs” know, we were planning on moving out-of-state because we can no longer afford California.  Oddly, we can’t afford to live here, but we can’t afford to move either…because relocating costs are so high.  But, we were keeping our fingers crossed that our condo would have a “bidding war,” and we’d sell for a decent amount so we could use a teeny portion for relocating.  It was going to be a gamble that we hoped would pan out for us.

We had a glimmer of hope.  With my husband’s sales job, and my online data entry (although meager) would help us to pay off our bills living in an area that cost of living was more reasonable, like Boise, ID.

When my husband first approached his company, they said ideally, they would like him to remain in California, but anywhere on the West Coast (WA, OR, ID, UT, AZ, NV) would be sufficient, as long as he traveled and got work done.  He had another meeting with them at the end of the year where they confirmed this.  They don’t want to pay more and there’s no way they can get another salesman for the same that can make it in California (LA/OC vicinity) on the base pay and commission they are paying.   These are Pennsylvania guys and don’t get it, but told my husband okay.  They would try it and see how his sales were the next 6 months.  This call happened in December, just a month ago.

We were specifically waiting on signing with a realtor to see what my hubby’s work would say.  And because they confirmed their okay, we decided on a certain real estate “sale” method that required us performing upgrades to our condo so that it would sell “higher” vs. walking away, selling as is- and maybe having to short-sale.  We gave them the okay to do the flooring and counter tops that payment will be made during closing costs.  We already placed a lot on our credit card, included $2,400 for professionally staging the place.  (furniture rental)

Everything is set.  Next weekend, first weekend of Feb. we’re having our open house and the realtor is fairly certain offers will begin rolling in… listing the property low, get the prospective group of buyers in, generate excitement, have them bid against one another- get amount up to 390k to break even, possibly 400k to help with relocating costs.  It was a gamble and we were hoping God would bless us with a crazy 425 maybe. (unlikely, but we were hoping he’d be generous)

WELL.  One phone call changed all that this morning.  My husband had his sales call, and they LAID HIM OFF.  Oh, we didn’t want to tell you this bad news near the holidays.


We would have went a different route with selling our place.  If you didn’t want us to move and my husband’s job would be in jeopardy, why didn’t you say so sooner?

We signed a listing agreement and upgraded our condo based on last month’s sales call.  Had we known it wasn’t going to work, we might have held off selling, and we certainly wouldn’t have done upgrades.  Now, if we chose not to sell, we owe 10K for work we would have never had done!

Now, we can’t move because my husband doesn’t have a job…and the market where we were going isn’t great.  So, we can’t relocate to an area where we know no one, and have no job, and not much job opportunity in the city we were intending to move.  My hubby’s sales job was ideal.  Now, without that…we have to stay in CA because there’s more job opportunity here.  That fucking changes everything.

Great.  Do we sell the condo now?  We can’t get an apartment because neither of us has a full-time job.  Even if we could get into an apartment, we couldn’t afford it.  Apartments are more expensive.  So now, I guess we have the open house, see what kind of offers we get… I don’t even know if 400k will be enough… if only 390 tell the realtor we are no longer selling because we’ll be homeless.  As of now, I guess stop paying our mortgage and eventually wait to see if condo will get an offer for 400+ (so we  have some money to live off of), or wait until foreclosure and until they kick us out like a year later?

What are we to do?

Then claim bankruptcy for all those credit cards that we thought after relocating, we could have paid off in a year or two.  BTW:  It costs money to claim bankruptcy!  And now, medical insurance?  No one can afford Cobra.


We’re going to need to do a GOFUND me account.  Fundraiser to our friends/family for us.  There is a program called South County Outreach, that might assist with mortgage for a month or two, but funding is limited.  And to qualify for their transitional housing we have to first be homeless.  Living out of our car or camping in my sister-n-law’s back yard. Well, the weather is starting to get warmer…

Wow, I’m going to have some interesting future blog posts.

Why doesn’t anything EVER work out for us?  My husband has a college degree (engineering aerospace- he’s fucking smart) never had a good job that paid him what he’s worth.  I’ve always worked.  Always.  We don’t live beyond our means, we don’t go out on dates ever, we don’t have babysitters- we stay home.  Our fun was kids’ sports, but even that is now gone.  We have Netflix, which probably have to stop that now.  We can’t live any cheaper than we already are… eating soup or pot pies daily.

Seriously.  It’s fucking unfair to watch all our friends with awesome homes, living just awesomely and we’ve always had to struggle.  Just when we finally thought out a new plan for our lives…

A new fucking reality evolves.





34 thoughts on “If you didn’t want us to move…

  1. Aww, I don’t even know you, I’ve only been reading your blog for a couple of weeks (can’t remember how I came across it). But…….oh, that is so bad. Your husbands stupid employer knew you were moving, like you say why didn’t they say something sooner. I can only say I hope the housing market here in the UK never goes the same way as yours. Am I reading that right? That you had to rent furniture to make your house look more appealing to prospective buyers? But they wouldn’t even be having the furniture – crazy. Hope things work out for you, no wonder you cried, I’d be crying too, hysterically.


    1. So sweet. Thank you for commenting!

      Yes, “staging” the house to sell typically results in higher priced offers or more people placing offers. (they don’t want any of your furniture/art or very little) In fact, you almost have to make it look like you don’t live there…but do. You have to pack everything and try to remove from premises. (Hence storage unit) Ugh.


  2. Try looking on the east coast at Gulfstream. My dad just retired from them but they are always hiring and will pay for a relocation package which they did for us. Chin up its going to work out! 💗💗


    1. Southern CA. (about an hours drive from Los Angeles) Orange County- more precise South Orange County. Lake Forest which is between Irvine and Mission Viejo. It’s a super nice area and many people want to buy here so we know we’ll get offers, but we need it to be high.


    2. I have a coworker moving out to Cali for a job starting in a week and I know he had been looking at houses. But his trying to stay in SF so that wouldn’t work out. Oh well at least I tried. 🌟


    3. Oh, yes, San Francisco is VERY expensive. Is he going to try and live in the city or further out – they have horrendous traffic, as well. My husband had to drive a lot for his job, and he’d always tell me he had only a certain block of time to get out of the city or he was stuck. And all the tolls.

      My hubby’s step brother is still living there. I’ll Facebook him to see where he’s living. I know he’s fairly close to the city, but it has to be reasonable as he’s a waiter. If in the city, your friend won’t really need a car because you can’t really park on the streets, and if you can it costs and difficult to find open spot, and the parking structures are expensive – have to include in your budget. So I knew a couple of people that just got rid of their cars and used public transportation. But they LOVE Northern CA, bay area.

      In Southern CA, you can’t get around without a car. Must have.

      Liked by 1 person

    4. He had classic cars he rebuilt from the ground up. He sold them all to make money to help with the move. His only taking his bike with him and is planning on using public transport as well. He just got a job as a lead designer for a company called Brilliant Earth so I know he is excited! 😉

      Liked by 1 person

    5. A lead designer is over a team of people that help design a ring to fit what the client request. Each piece is different and Unique to the client. 😊 Brilliant Earth is a line of engagement rings that use all organic material to created a stunning piece. 💍 So they are kinda like Tacori or Verragio. Pretty shiny things. 💖

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Sandi, I don’t know where to begin. This explains why it’s raining all over California. Your story even brought me to tears. Without resorting to name calling—those F#%&!’s. I think those bastards knew all along what they were intending to do but didn’t have the balls to pull the stunt they did, until after the holidays. What do these people expect you folks to do? That’s the point; they don’t care. It even sounds like that they want you to blog from the dim glow of a campfire, that way no one will hear about the unethical way in which they let people go. And don’t get me started on housing cost in California, because, all we’d hear in return is no one asked us to live here—struggle here maybe. Love the state, but hate the Real Estate. Sandi, I’d give you the money but I haven’t won the lottery, yet. That’s because, like so many other Americans we’re all in the same boat (except politicians, bankers, and pharmaceutical companies)—except we’re actually in a dingy and under water. I honestly wish I could help. Perhaps dishonestly? Telling you to not give up is like asking a passenger on the Titanic—once in the water—to not drown. So instead, I’ll ask you to become a shark and survive whatever way you can. And I’ll try to come up with any ideas (or money) to assist in any way I can.


    1. I’m so happy to have you (and other bloggers) in my life. Thank you, Paul for just commenting and saying the things you do and joking. (without humor, things would be even worse)

      If I couldn’t write about, or vent (in this case), I’d lose my mind. And, it’s so much better when I get responses from people. I like the “shark” idea. I’m going to have to watch Jaws 1 and 2, and take some notes. – we are too nice always wanting to do the “right” thing. My husband wanted to tell our realtor immediately, and I told him no – which goes against our integrity, but where has that gotten us? We need to learn to play the game. A friend of mine said all is fair when you are in survival mode. So, we’re going to wait, have our open house this next weekend and see what kind of offers we get. If high enough, we’ll tell our relator that she needs to drop her commission or we’re not selling because we need enough money from the sell to survive a bit. If not high enough, then tell our realtor we’re not selling. (at this time, it makes more sense for us to say ‘screw it’ and stop paying and wait until foreclosure and they boot us out – it’s my understanding people do that and live a year in the house.) Not that I condone that, but if we leave, we have no where to go. We don’t have jobs (mine is a minimal data entry thing that payment varies each check) And apartments want you to establish work proof, and here, they are so expensive- we may as well stay in our condo.

      Who knows, perhaps my hubby will already find another job in a week and we won’t even have to disclose our misfortune to the realtor that has only her best interest in mind. She needs our condo to sell (and for a good price) because she owns a condo here that she wants to sell after ours- so she wants ours to do well. A foreclosure at this point, would kill her.


    2. I like your plan, Sandi. There is sound reasoning to it and it affords you time. Right now it is likely you are both quite overwhelmed by the unexpected. So time is the great equalizer and works more in your favor. You have to act in your own self-interest these days. Survivor instincts, and there is nothing wrong with that. Our problem is that we all want to do the right thing, but usually that winds up benefiting the unethical worms that slither in and out of our lives. What they don’t realize is, worms are eatable! Sleep on it and give it time, while all the while planning a counter move. Life is such a grand chess match. Don’t let this shove you into a corner. I think you have options. :O)


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