The Fart Police

Fart PoliceOkay, I did it.  I went off to my computer.  Sat down…and let one go…  At that exact moment, my 10-year-old daughter materialized out of thin air:

“Uh.  I just heard you fart, momma. (Ew.) and you didn’t say excuse me.”

I turned around,

“Oh, excuse me…I didn’t realize the fart police was standing behind me.”

I didn’t intend that to be funny, but more sarcastic to my “know-it-all” daughter.  However, my husband heard and laughed over that for a good 10 minutes and said,

“That just made my whole night.”

Shaking my head, boys and their potty humor.  But seriously, what the heck.  My body was going all night… what did I eat differently?

Ohhhh, those darn Pop Tarts my kids insisted on purchasing.  I’ve never cared for them, and against my better judgement… ate two.  No wonder they call them POP Tarts… you Pop all over the place.

… Pop, popp-poppty, pop-pop.

Like Lionel Ritchey… All night long..



7 thoughts on “The Fart Police

  1. Sandi, when you started off with: “I went off to my computer. Sat down…and let one go… at that exact moment, my 10 year old daughter materialized out of thin air!” I thought you were going to let us all in on how you did it! You know…the illusion the prestidigitation or whatever way you farted her out. So I read, and read, and read some more. All in the hope of learning how the trick was done, so that I could go, sit down, and master passing gas in front of my wife, thus producing our youngest son out of a methane cloud! Followed by me standing and screaming…Ta-dah! Of course, my wife, and son probably wouldn’t have still been standing, but that’s irrelevant. The point is, that would have been one hell of a magic trick to tell your friends about—had they lived to talk about it, after the fallout, that is. But what do I get? Some story about Pop-Tarts popping up all over the place. Although—I like Pop-Tarts and all—I was hoping to start a career in the magical arts and move off to Las Vegas to fame and fortune and a 10 year booking at “The Mirage” all on the basis of that one trick. But instead, here I sit, typing and reliving (in my mind) what might have been. All because of Pop-Tarts. I hope you sleep well tonight.


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