OMG, just smash it to pieces

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

What is that sound?  Open the pantry.  The source seems to be coming from in here, but we don’t have anything electronic stored on these shelves.  Everything is packed.  Is it coming through the walls from the neighbor’s condo?

At that moment, I realized my hubby had replaced the smoke alarm earlier, on his very long list of things to do.  In addition, the realtor wanted him to install a carbon monoxide detector.

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

“Hey, hon?  Are you now installing the carbon monoxide detector?  No?  Then, what is THAT?”

At that point, he opens the pantry and peers within.  And remembers he had replaced the smoke alarm a few hours ago and put the old in the trash, which the stagers had us hide the can behind the pantry door.  He shuffles around in the bin (of course, through old coffee grinds he just tossed in there…ew), and produces the old alarm which is now piercingly  unbearable!

Oddly, it didn’t make a sound when he removed it, but hours later, it decided to make it’s dying presence know.  Thank GOD it chose 10pm vs. 3AM.  Because of our new floor plan (laminate/non carpet) and no longer muffled behind a door, by waste inside a closed trash can…the volume intensified as the room now echoes.  It was so loud, when in my husband’s hands, he couldn’t think how to disconnect.  He almost smashed it against the wall, except he just painted that.

Quick, Quick, make it STOP.  It’s so annoying and my ears are ringing.  You seriously can’t think.  They need to design one that is annoying enough to force you into “state-of-emergency,” without driving you insane that you can’t think rationally when you determine it is not a fire.

I found myself almost yelling,

“Smash it against the wall.  Throw it in the toilet and flush.  Toss it on the ground and stomp on it.  Or do what my friend did, crush it to bits with a broom handle.”

My high school friend, when in college, moved in with her boyfriend.  One weekend, he was out of town and she had the girlfriends come for dinner and a sleep over.  She had the fire place going.  We thought the fire was out, but it must have been still smoldering as we went to bed.  We girls were sleeping near the fireplace and there were no flames.  However, sometime during the night, the flu somehow closed on its own.  Shortly thereafter, the smoke alarm went off and we’re talking vaulted ceilings so no one could reach the thing.

My friend stumbled out of her room and called downstairs to inquire what we were doing.  Meanwhile, smoke alarm was blaring for about 10 minutes.  We aired out the house, by opening sliding glass patio and front door and windows and reopening the flu.  She took a fire extinguisher and sprayed any smoking embers that might be hidden.  The alarm still was going, ear piercing, non-stop even when it wasn’t smoky… 20 minutes later… It was like it was stuck in ON mode.  So my friend stood on the staircase and with a broom stick, jumped up and down, made several attempts, until she smashed the blaring sucker.  All this commotion at 2am woke one neighbor for certain.  When her boyfriend returned, he was like,

“Was it necessary to smash the thing to bits?  Look at it, it’s just hanging in pieces.  And you yanked the wires.  Did you try removing the battery?”

At that time, we couldn’t think clearly and just needed it to STOP.  It wasn’t ceasing and we had control over the situation.  We were not longer in danger of a fire or smoke inhalation.  The noise needed to STOP.  And, no one could reach the detector for battery removal…but we could smash and jump up and pull wires!

Flash back to the present:  Holding the old detector, My husband frantically pulled on some wires, and that didn’t work.  I urgently talked over the noise,

“Pull out the battery, pull out the battery!”

In a spasm, he flipped it over and found the battery door.  EJECT.  (silence) Sigh.  thank God.

Good job not smashing it into the wall, babe.  Otherwise, you’d have to touch up that paint (and possibly the dry wall depending on how forceful of impact)

… And how exactly did the kids sleep through all that commotion?.  That’s concerning should there have been a real fire.