OMG, just smash it to pieces


What is that sound?  Open the pantry.  The source seems to be coming from in here, but we don’t have anything electronic stored on these shelves.  Everything is packed.  Is it coming through the walls from the neighbor’s condo?

At that moment, I realized my hubby had replaced the smoke alarm earlier, on his very long list of things to do.  In addition, the realtor wanted him to install a carbon monoxide detector.


“Hey, hon?  Are you now installing the carbon monoxide detector?  No?  Then, what is THAT?”

At that point, he opens the pantry and peers within.  And remembers he had replaced the smoke alarm a few hours ago and put the old in the trash, which the stagers had us hide the can behind the pantry door.  He shuffles around in the bin (of course, through old coffee grinds he just tossed in there…ew), and produces the old alarm which is now piercingly  unbearable!

Oddly, it didn’t make a sound when he removed it, but hours later, it decided to make it’s dying presence know.  Thank GOD it chose 10pm vs. 3AM.  Because of our new floor plan (laminate/non carpet) and no longer muffled behind a door, by waste inside a closed trash can…the volume intensified as the room now echoes.  It was so loud, when in my husband’s hands, he couldn’t think how to disconnect.  He almost smashed it against the wall, except he just painted that.

Quick, Quick, make it STOP.  It’s so annoying and my ears are ringing.  You seriously can’t think.  They need to design one that is annoying enough to force you into “state-of-emergency,” without driving you insane that you can’t think rationally when you determine it is not a fire.

I found myself almost yelling,

“Smash it against the wall.  Throw it in the toilet and flush.  Toss it on the ground and stomp on it.  Or do what my friend did, crush it to bits with a broom handle.”

My high school friend, when in college, moved in with her boyfriend.  One weekend, he was out of town and she had the girlfriends come for dinner and a sleep over.  She had the fire place going.  We thought the fire was out, but it must have been still smoldering as we went to bed.  We girls were sleeping near the fireplace and there were no flames.  However, sometime during the night, the flu somehow closed on its own.  Shortly thereafter, the smoke alarm went off and we’re talking vaulted ceilings so no one could reach the thing.

Broom and smoke alarmMy friend stumbled out of her room and called downstairs to inquire what we were doing.  Meanwhile, smoke alarm was blaring for about 10 minutes.  We aired out the house, by opening sliding glass patio and front door and windows and reopening the flu.  She took a fire extinguisher and sprayed any smoking embers that might be hidden.  The alarm still was going, ear piercing, non-stop even when it wasn’t smoky… 20 minutes later… It was like it was stuck in ON mode.  So my friend stood on the staircase and with a broom stick, jumped up and down, made several attempts, until she smashed the blaring sucker.  All this commotion at 2am woke one neighbor for certain.  When her boyfriend returned, he was like,

“Was it necessary to smash the thing to bits?  Look at it, it’s just hanging in pieces.  And you yanked the wires.  Did you try removing the battery?”

At that time, we couldn’t think clearly and just needed it to STOP.  It wasn’t ceasing and we had control over the situation.  We were not longer in danger of a fire or smoke inhalation.  The noise needed to STOP.  And, no one could reach the detector for battery removal…but we could smash and jump up and pull wires!

Flash back to the present:  Holding the old detector, My husband frantically pulled on some wires, and that didn’t work.  I urgently talked over the noise,

“Pull out the battery, pull out the battery!”

In a spasm, he flipped it over and found the battery door.  EJECT.  (silence) Sigh.  thank God.

Good job not smashing it into the wall, babe.  Otherwise, you’d have to touch up that paint (and possibly the dry wall depending on how forceful of impact)

… And how exactly did the kids sleep through all that commotion?.  That’s concerning should there have been a real fire.



17 thoughts on “OMG, just smash it to pieces

  1. I hate those things. I liked it better the old fashion way. You know, like when we used to yell…”Fire!” It worked for Mrs. O’Leary and her cow during the Great Chicago Fire. Or, is that what caused the fire—I always forget which.


    1. Hahahah! You just reminded me… my ex-boyfriend’s dad visited Israel to walk with the cross (same path that Jesus took to be crucified)…

      anyway, upon his return I inquired how it went and where he slept. He indicated he stayed at an “Inn” sort of like Mary and Joseph and it was a hoot because someone threw a cherry bomb that ended up catching the roof on fire and they had to line up and one person would fill a bucket of water, and pass it on down the line where the last person tossed it on the fire. (old fashioned assembly line) – they got it out with team work, quickly, with very little damage.

      He thought it was great. (meanwhile, I’m like what? That sounds horrifying.)


  2. I always remove the battery before I start to cook. If not then ten minutes into me trying to not kill dinner it will go off and the dogs start to freak out. Three howling dogs and alarm that just won’t shut up! I couldn’t get the battery out last week so I put it in the freezer. It worked! Thanks for sharing…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It was muffled at first… I forgot about it until I was looking for the ice cream the next day. It’s just making a chirping sound now. So it’s living in the laundry room for the moment.. 😉


  3. yanno, old smoker detectors make great targets for Mister 9MM but you neighbors probably would have appreciated that even less than the piercing noise it was emitting. yeh, Mister BFH makes short work of one them too.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey, don’t you criticize my writing, buster. That’s me in “real life.” I always have a story in que.

      …a new person would come along to our group, and my friends would be like… wait for it, she’s getting to it.

      Some people had no patience… I just asked you what they are having for lunch… hot dogs, yes or no? (but I gotta tell ’em a story first) – I’m getting to that!


  4. Shooting them with bug spray kills them……. but I think it is actually the final smack with a baseball bat (just in case the bug spray takes too long)..Can’t use just ANY bug spray though. It absolutely MUST be the kind that sprays all over the house and stinks out the place…much like a stink bomb…otherwise the battery just gets mad. (sort of like those wasps I tried to also kill at the same time)

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I had one in my old house that was at the very top of a high vaulted ceiling and of course the battery would go out every single time in the middle of the freaking night and there was no just taking the battery out because they were all wired to a system within the house in case the batteries failed …so not only did I have to drag out the damn 20 foot ladder and bring it into the house and hope that it didn’t go skidding on the wood floor while I was standing 16 feet up in it but I also had to go to Wal-Mart in the middle of the night to get new batteries. Sure you’re probably wondering why I didn’t just keep 9 volt batteries around well that’s because I’ve read they have been known to catch fire when thrown in drawers and such.

    Liked by 1 person

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