Outwaiting the Tide

Where my Grrrs at?

Question for all those married (living with someone- significant other/roommate) – is there a particular “chore,” that you will try to outwait each other?  For instance, If I just wait, the other will eventually take care of it because there will be so many dirty dishes stacked and none clean?

That’s how it is in our household with grocery shopping.  One of us will eventually give up because we want to eat, or be able to wipe our ass with TP.

I explained to my husband (before we married) when we moved in together… why I dislike this activity.  It actually goes beyond dislike.  I spent my entire youth assisting my mom…and she waited to do BIG shopping every 2 weeks.  Because at one time, we were so broke (while she was a single parent) we never had food in the house, when she remarried and things were financially better she’d buy like 10 boxes of cereal (just to give you an idea), huge package of toilet paper, paper towels… our basket would be overflowing and difficult to push, and at times, we’d have two baskets.  Talk about embarrassing if I saw anyone from school.  “Wow, do  you have like 10 kids in your family.”  (nope, just me.)  My step dad would look over the receipt inquiring how she spent over $300.00 (back in the 80’s)

On top of that, we had a small 1968 VW bug, that my mom never used the front trunk due to lack of space.  So I’d have to crawl in the back seat and she’d hand me all the bags (paper at that time, plastic came later) to figure out how to pack and make everything fit.  Let’s just say, that’s probably why I have great spatial awareness.

Then, when we’d get home, I was the only one that had to unload the car while my mom unpacked in the kitchen.  And then I’d help put everything away.   This excursion would take about 2.5 hours of our day.  SUCKED.

One time, mom claimed we didn’t get our HUGE box of Tide detergent.  That big, family sized one (back in the 80s) that I could hardly carry the box.  (similar to this image- the box was same width, but longer and heavier- much bigger)  She claimed the grocery store forgot to place back in our basket after scanning.  She made me get on her crappy 4 speed bike (totally embarrassed to have others see me on it) because it had a mini bar-rack above the back tire and she gave me a bungee cord.  It was doubtful that it would fit on the tiny rack.  I had the embarrassing job to take the receipt back to the checker and they brought me up another box.  Anyway, my 10 year old self couldn’t get the bungee cord around the box 2x (and 1x left some wiggle room).  The rack was a tad too skinny for the width of the box.  I tried so carefully to get home with that thing, made it half way before hitting a bump, and it fell off… the bottom corner of the box now leaked detergent granules because there was a small hole.  Got it back on the rack and attempted to get myself back on the bike without tilting it too much.  The box kept sliding off and I’d have to stop.  It took several attempts.

Upon arriving home, mom came out to greet me and state “I’m sorry, I forgot we had no room in the backseat, so I put that Tide in the front trunk.  Just found it.  We need to return one.”  NO I am NOT taking this thing back on the bike.  My mom drove me, gave me the undamaged box, to return back to the clerk 30 minutes later!  (because she was too embarrassed)  Fuck.  This story still pisses me off today.  Conveniently, my mom has no recollection and whenever this comes up occasionally, she states “Oh, that wasn’t so bad, you make everything out to be so drastic.”  REALLY?

As an adult, shopping for myself was no biggie because I didn’t need much.  Nor did I really need to buy much more for my boyfriend.  However, after we married and had kids… we split the duty of shopping for the family.  We will try to outwait the other, mine because I just hate shopping (period)…my hubby because he doesn’t like dealing with the shopper crowd.

Yesterday, he took our daughter to get new soccer cleats.  I requested they stop at the super market to grab one of those chickens, premade mac-n-cheese, and mashed potatoes bowls.  Thinking he would grab a couple more items for our bare cabinets while there… NOPE.  He came home with dinner for that night only and a package of water.  Knowing full-well, we have no food in the house and on last roll of toilet paper, but acts like he forgot.

Fucker.  He knows how much I detest shopping.

(Grrr, growl) I had to leave at 6:15 this morning to do a brief market run for some staple items so the kids had breakfast and some snacks for school and dinner this evening. SHIT, I just realized I forgot the toilet paper!  Damn it, there’s a half-roll left.  Gonna have to ration those sheets.  Hmm, I’m gonna hide the remaining portion.



2 thoughts on “Outwaiting the Tide

  1. LOL, God this sounds so familiar. Plus my wife always say’s four rolls of toilet paper will be enough for a week. Ha, ha, ha and then I kindly remind her that our family is full of… Well guess who gets stuck going back to the store, while she get’s to…well you know…or wait to get off the pot? Yep, one of the kids, although it used to be me! 😀


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