We’re considering moving and are looking at photos of homes for sale online.
I wonder if some builders intent was to make people vomit. Simply walking into these designs that have varying type of grains. I’m dizzy looking at photos of the house. I would run out screaming… “OMG, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!” … or stumble out because I’d be so dizzy and probably end up eating pavement and breaking my teeth in the process. Seriously, the kitchen! Different grains on the flooring, the cabinets, the bar, the countertop marble, the “brick” like wall. This is not a section you want to be wielding a knife and chopping things. I can see a finger (or hand) getting amputated and adding blood to the décor. “OMG, I severed my hand! Call 911… I can’t find the phone…it’s hidden in the décor somewhere!”
Then you have the overly-creative type. A chalk board WALL kinda-awesome, for going over math homework. However, this scary reality would be more likely…my son (soon to be a teenager) and his buddies would have a grand time. Upon entering the door, there would be a big, fat penis to greet us. (Shit, my husband would probably be the culprit. Let’s play ‘dirty’ Pictionary, honey.) Not to mention, you’ll be choking on chalk dust. Choking on ‘penis’ chalk dust does not generate warm, fuzzy feelings…more like a squeamish tummy. Then my son’s punishment would be writing, “I will not draw penises on the wall.” 20 times.
In instances like this, I’m left wondering, do you really want to sell your house? For some reason, I keep hearing “Hi, Welcome to Shakey’s. Can I take your pizza order?” Let’s make a pizza! I don’t know why, I think it reminds me of the décor inside an old Shakey’s restaurant. With lamps, cups, and hats like these. I think I would have nightmares of a giant Shakey Chef chasing me. “You can run, but you can’t hide, little lady. I’m going to break you into itty-bitty pieces. Sprinkle them on a pizza so others can eat you!”