Bloggers are FICKLE – is this you?

fickle definition- bloggers

The main conclusion I’ve come to, Bloggers, as a whole, are a fickle lot.  There are those individual sites that are the exception.  However, I have discovered:

If you disappear for a tad from the blogging world to attend to business, they quickly leave you.  Even if you don’t leave, but are posting regularly and visiting their sites… they stop coming to yours.  Because you see,

It’s all about what you can do for ME.

They originally visit your site with the following goals:

1)  “I’ll try simply just “liking” their post, so my photo linked to my site will show on their post.  Maybe other bloggers will click to my site.  If I do 100 of these a day, that should generate traffic.  I’m too lazy to bother commenting, but I will still offer them my  website services.” 


2) “How many times do I have to comment on their site, to ensure they are coming to mine regularly?  I want to raise my traffic so I can ultimately earn $$:”

  • by placing ads on my blog
  • advertise my latest book
  • market this/that product or service
  • request them to participate in my weekly bloggy Linky thingy and advertise my site more (with the ruse I am offering a chance to market their blogs to others, but really it’s about my site and my popularity- and request them to advertise for me, so even more people will participate in my bloggy thing.)
  • While you are here, vote me the best mommy/daddy blogger, etc.  Because I deserve it more than anyone else
  • I’m going to nominate them for some random award that requires linking to my site.  (sometimes these are legitimate “awards,” but often just advertising)

The wise blogger knows they have to spend time commenting on other’s sites to get known and generate traffic to their own site using the above methods.  However, once you got them coming regularly to your site, you don’t bother visiting their sites in return any longer?

Blogger beware:  Sometimes, it seems you have made “friends.”  But, what I’ve discovered, even those “friends” are fleeting.  You might have shared a ton of back-n-forth bantering over the last couple of months.  BUT…

Once they start getting popular, maybe you have even generated other bloggers to their site… they now no longer have time to visit your world.  Why waste their time, when they are busy marketing to other bloggers (being their besty until they have hooked them) to continually increase their numbers.

I laugh when bloggers always claim “I don’t know what happened.  You dropped off my feed.”  Although sometimes it might be the case, not all the time.  Mostly, that’s a fib.  That’s why you create a link to your favorite bloggers.  I have a page dedicated to this so I can click and see what my favorites are up to and never rely on the wordpress Feed.  I love when this excuse is used, and they follow it up with

“I’ll try to stop by when I can…” ,

…but the unsaid words are…”in the meantime, please keep coming to see my blog and comment, because your comments are so thoughtful.  Please participate in my bloggy network thingy and plug my site some more.”

Some of my FAVORITE bloggers (pals) are guilty of this.  Once I’ve participated and am visiting their sites often, they no longer bother with me.  Or they are so WRAPPED up in their own problems.  They use that as an excuse too.  Oh, my world is ending, as soon as it gets better, I’ll be by… but it never happens because there is always some crazy thing going on in their life every single day.  Or they do a quick “drive-by” and comment on a few of your posts to placate you…but ultimately serve as a reminder to come see them. (as they don’t want to lose their bloggers and have their visitor numbers decline.)  Again, it’s all about them.

Just who do you think you are kidding?  We all know.  I’m tired of this BS.

So on that note, I’m done with that.  You need to stop by and see how I’m doing, too, and give thoughtful comments with no ulterior motive of advertising your site.  In return, I promise not to sell you anything.  However, when the winds of bloggers are with me, I can generate a lot of other bloggers to your site because I’ve spent hours visiting new bloggers who have no followers attempting new friendships.  Nurturing those new friendships and then those bloggers communicate with other existing blogger pals of mine- creating a network.

That’s because my blogging purpose is trying to make friends and be a friend.  I spend time trying to find other “like-minded” bloggers in the blog-o-sphere.  Through friendship, I don’t mind plugging your blog (or business) because we’ve developed a rapport and I certainly want my friends to be successful.

However, don’t YOU forget who your friends are, as those bloggers that have all been flocking to your site lately, the next day- they might just disappear.  Like I said, they are a fickle bunch…and if you’re not doing something for them, they are gone!  Poof.  Just like that.  Until another day or round of bloggers joins you with the same mindset, if I be your bestie for a while, what can you do for me?


18 thoughts on “Bloggers are FICKLE – is this you?

  1. This is so well said. I feel like I struggle a lot with wanting to participate more thoughtfully on others’ sites but being completely overwhelmed by my job and personal commitments. Striking a balance is hard. I genuinely want to strike that balance, though, because being part of a blogging community has taught me so many things, and I do believe I’ve met some great friends through it, neither of which I necessarily expected to happen. So I’ll continue trying! Maybe never getting it right, but trying 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Alex: yes, you are successful and have many people you have connections with- you can’t respond to everyone’s posts every single post they create. That’s not possible, especially the more popular you become. (and life/work responsibilities)

      It’s about finding balance, and being sincere. (key word)

      As I started following more people and discovering great sites, I found this to be an issue too – how to find balance.

      I created a favorite blogger’s page and add to it occasionally, and I might not visit everyone daily, but I will pop over and then catch up and read several of their posts, catching up like old friends- making sincere comments when I’m struck to do so. (not because I’m marketing) Like I’m chatting on the phone with them. No ulterior motives. And in return, Just hope you visit me and see how I’m doing too… like friends do. It might be every other week.

      You can tell the difference. Some people have surprised me in good ways, and sometimes bad. BUT, I like to usually focus on the positive.

      I hope this is a “wake-up” call for some of us that have lost their way, sort of speak?

      My question being to everyone: Are you just a marketer…if so, be honest about it…don’t make me invest time with you that you have no intentions of being sincere.


    2. Thank you!! And yes, couldn’t agree more with your approach. And thank you for posing such thoughtful questions and points that challenge us all to really evaluate what we are doing and try to improve ourselves and how we interact with others.


  2. I totally agree! I started my blog mainly to tell my friends and family about whatsup in the PhD world (and so never really expecting any sort of high volume traffic), but I’ve really enjoyed the interactions I’ve had with other bloggers because of it! I definitely try to keep up with all my favorite blogs, especially the ones who have interacted on mine.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes. It is about your purpose. Blogging is a type of conversation. Bloggers purposes of their blogs vary. However, it is still a give-and-take relationship. Otherwise, you will just be speaking to the crickets. Even they might get fed up and hop away.


  3. I kind of just want to echo what Alex said… so… uh… ditto?

    I’m so guilty of falling behind when it comes to reading blogs. And, while I do like it when my stats tell me that lots of people are reading my blog, that’s not the driving force behind making comments when I do make them. I usually only write a comment if I feel like I can come up with something hilariously clever. Except this time. Because I’ve said nothing clever this time around. Sorry about that. I’ll try harder next time 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. This post is pertaining to those that are specifically trying to market themselves constantly and it’s obvious. 🙂 It gets irritating. You know the phrase…

      “I’m their friend, but they are not mine.” – they become self-centered.

      I’m not going to bother with those people any more. I don’t in my real life any longer, so why would I in the blogging world?

      That’s just silly and a waste of my time. 🙂

      BTW: We all think we are more clever/witty than we truly are… I only comment when I’m moved to do so, like talking to a friend. In my case, I’ve always got something to say. If it happens to be clever, yea, if not- oh well. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. So I’ve been found out have I? Well…from now on then, they’ll be no more marketing for you, ha! Sandi, no one could have said it better than you did. Every point you made was spot on. Balance is hard to find in the blogging world, but we all want to write and be appreciated for it, no matter how busy our personal scheduled. I guess it’s because we feel we have an audience out there somewhere, no matter how large, otherwise we’d just write for our own enjoyment in a journal or a diary. With so many people writing about a variety of topics like serious writers, or humorists, even comics, and then there are the poets, travelers, photographers and you get the idea. There are so many, a variety of blogging opportunities. I know WordPress says to go explore other bloggers sites and comment, let folks know your out there (yes I know, in my case I’m really out there), and bloggers do appreciate your visit. And maybe they pay the favor back by visiting our blog, and then sometimes they don’t—but boy do they miss out if they don’t! However, in our case they wouldn’t dare to abandon our blogs because we’re irresistible. But, if they should find that we’re not their cup of tea (poor devils) then we press them and demand “Why the hell not!” Well I do (not). Anyway, I guess we can’t please everybody, but the ones we don’t please… must be cretins or lacking in good taste. But, just in case they’re not cretins or lacking in good taste and just happen to be good people that don’t care for what we have to write, not to worry, because there are a plethora of other unsuspecting bloggers out there who will find what we have to write bad and lacking in good taste. BUT, they’ll stay and read every post we write—because they fell under our evil spell. I’m sorry… I just got done reading bitter Ben’s blog (which I highly recommend by the way), and it must have rubbed off on me. Not that he’s a bad influence or anything like that. 😀


    1. Why the hell not, is right? We are awesome. And clever. Awesomely, clever I say!

      Don’t take this the wrong way, but I so totally HEART you, Paul. I mean hate. I mean, I’m bitter, like Ben. I think I’ve been to his site before.. if not, I will visit.

      I always love your spin on things. You and I are so alike. Hahahah. What’s wrong with all those fools?

      I don’t have to be anyone’s cup of tea… but where’s the damn loyalty to the Royalty?

      that’s all I gotta say.


    2. You mustn’t trust everything Sandi say’s—oh I love her, sure, but— she’s blogger impaired, and I should know, because she’s a regular reader of my blog! You know I can’t help but wonder if that’s not some side-effect from reading my blog? Nah! And in any event… they’ll never be able to prove it? Could they? :o.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. This is sooo true, Sandi!! I have been disappearing way too often from wordpress since college has been hectic and the first thing I do when I’m back is quickly stalk all my favourite bloggers to catch up with them. Be it 10 or 15 days late, I’m too nosy to NOT know what they have been upto. It’s just like catching up with old friends which is one of the main reasons that I always, always come back 😀 The new blogs are great, ofcourse but old friends know all the little secrets and stories spread over a ton of previous blog posts! 😘


    1. You’re a college student! That’s understandable. We all get busy. I’m working and not always blogging and may be gone a week or two. However, when I return, I do go visit all my old pals.

      This post wasn’t necessarily directed at all my pals. Just some that have taken me by surprise that I’m like- what the heck?

      Those that are blogging daily, sometimes more than once a day… and the relationship is one-sided and I realized their goals. I’m like hmmm. wait a minute. Hold up, calling Bull shit.

      Liked by 1 person

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