Guess who’s got an interview on Friday…or maybe Monday. This gal! I’ve been penciled in for 2pm Friday, but depending on the hiring manager’s schedule, could be pushed back to Monday/Tuesday. I am waiting on confirmation.
If you’re wondering how I did this… I suggest befriending super-smart people and piggy-backing off them. These smarto’s typically have well-paying jobs or decent one’s anyway. That’s what I did… I looked up, with expectant eyes, telling my tale of woes, and my friend took pity on me. He is an automation Robotics engineer at a very large aerospace engineering company. The kind that works on top-secret stuff for the government. You can’t even e-mail anyone in their company, until they have e-mailed you first because of their IT policy. He referred me to the staffing agency rep. and it helps when everyone likes your friend and he/she is favored. The company is willing to bring you in… so I highly recommend that course of action, should you need a job (or a new one.) It really is “who you know” to get in for an interview.
Now, let’s talk about some don’ts on this interview. Some tips I’ve received from other intelligent friends that I need to silently repeat to myself:
- No matter how much my bra might be bugging me, and sweating profusely between the boobs and under the boobs (because Southern CA is in a freakin’ 100 degree heat wave) – do not be tempted to adjust my bra, pull out my shirt and blow air down to cool those babies off, close my shirt, and tap my boobs like they are good girls and say “Whew, it’s hot, isn’t it?“- oh, and if for some reason, I drop something down there, don’t reach inside and move everything around to find it. Standing up and pulling out shirt and bra to shake out whatever on the boss’ desk is a NO-NO. “Oh, there it is… it was a loose hair. God, I hate those.”
- When asked about experience, don’t take the opportunity to talk about what an incompetent ASS my last boss was, and boy, am I glad to no longer be working there. Current boss, might frown upon that.
- Since interview is scheduled after lunch, RESIST all urges to tell interviewing manager he has something stuck in his teeth (even if he does,) but more importantly don’t announce “OMG, what is that smell? Do you smell that? Oh, It’s your breath. Would you like a mint?” or a variation “Did you put on deodorant this morning? I tell my kids that every day. Gotta wear deodorant.”
- On the note of #3, when asked about priorities, don’t shout out “MINIMAL BODY ODOR is key.” A smelly person will alienate all personnel, and no perfume! – although 100 % true- not really what they are looking for, especially if they are the offender.
- Resist the urge to fix the f’in tights by snapping them on my leg as I adjust them upward, because some of it is pooling at the ankle, while the waist and section where leg meets vagina is cutting off in circulation. That’s a slippery slope, ending with me standing up, raising my skirt, and jumping around in the office trying to fix the waist, “I hate when it gets twisted.”
- When they offer me water, don’t ask for a Midol with it. Don’t adjust feminine products, no matter how much the pad is like a huge surfboard. Avoid walking funny, too wide, to allow for said board, stating “Man, these things suck, but I hate tampons.”
- No picking of anything: nose, teeth, or the underwear that has inevitably crept up my butt from the stupid tights.
- Don’t ask if WordPress or Facebook websites are restricted by IT
- If they state 6:00 is starting time, don’t ask if that’s a “hard” 6 or flexible on the days I make a Starbuck’s run, even if I’m getting the boss something or just running late.
- While sitting and being uncomfortable, do not announce, “Are we done yet? And, once I’m hired, it’s back to no tights, and open toed shoes. In fact, I’m just gonna wear my flip-flops.”