What did I do to piss off the fairies?

Okay, so most of us know about Tinker Bell.  Some of us know there are her fairy friends.  Although cute as can be, they are imaginary.

However, there are real ones, like the Tooth Fairy.  Yes, more exist!  They just have different functions.  And, apparently, they like to hang at our place.  I’m stumped as to why they show favor to my children and not me.

How many of you know the Laundry Fairy?  I must have offended her at some point, because when my dirty clothes are in the hamper, that’s where they remain until I launder them.  However, my kids and husband, all they have to do is open a drawer or closet, and clean clothes magically appear… it’s the most peculiar thing.  Doesn’t matter where they left them.  On rare occasions, I have fallen in good graces with this fairy, but usually I’m on my own.  Also, a couple of times, she has tossed a couple of my good shirts in the dryer and shrunk them.  I still don’t know if this was on purpose!

If there’s a laundry fairy, you can bet there’s a dish fairy.  My kids never have to pick up their plastic cups and cereal bowls.  My husband’s coffee mug on the table somehow makes it back into the cupboard (clean.)  Plates in the kids’ room or living room, it is removed quickly, and not by any of their effort.  If I leave a dish next to my bed, that sucker remains until I get my lazy butt up, take it to the kitchen, put in sudsy water, and washy-washy.

Then, there’s the snack and Meal provider Fairy.  This fairy has been a little kinder to me.  Occasionally, a delicious treat or nutritious snack magically appears in front of me, but primarily my kids and husband are the recipients.  They simply yell out, “I’m hungry.”  Poof, food.  I’m dumb-founded.  Is there a money fairy?  Because I’d like to yell out “MONEY.” and poof?  Please?  Pretty please?

I’ve come to the conclusion there’s an Organizer fairy, as well.  Yup.  This must be the shyest of fairies, as I’m not always so certain when they have visited.  Especially, since our home is in a constant state of mess.  Oh, it is a some-what organized mess, but still crap exists everywhere.  I have discovered this little sprite picks up things here and there so the kids don’t get blocked in a corner of their room and unable to leave, and dad doesn’t die in the garage.  Although this fairy is primarily concerned with tidying the place without being noticed, I think it ensures trash makes it into the waste receptacle, as well.  Usually, no one is the wiser.  But I know there’s a fairy involved, that chooses not to help me.  My junk, it only accumulates until I decide to clean up.  If I end up being stuck in a corner, I will have to claw, and crawl my ass out.

I certainly wish I knew what the trick was to pleasing these fairies.  I’m still trying and won’t give up…one of these days, they are going to love me.  There’s a song in there somewhere.

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10 thoughts on “What did I do to piss off the fairies?

  1. LOL I have always known that these fairies existed (I’ve been the recipient of many of their good deeds!), but never did I suspect that some people (mostly moms) were rarely, if ever, on the receiving end of many of their fine services. I can’t help but wonder, if any of those fairies’ mommies are not somewhat responsible for their odd reluctance to help other moms in the world. I think CNN—or at least Dr. Phil—should have a look into their unbelievable behavior. Don’t be surprised if if one of their union reps from “Faeries Local 165” doesn’t pay them a visit soon, to get to the bottom of this. :@)

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Don’t forget about the wonderful yet underappreciated Chauffuer Fairy! She stops whatever she’s doing to transport the kids to/from school, doctor appointments, playdates, the ER, etc… And her thanks for all this? A car filled with bickering kids and flying goldfish crackers.

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