You breathed this morning, that’s the problem

I swear…

…and Often.

Because… I swear the kids are driving me crazy!  Our spacious two bedroom condo no longer accommodates our family of 4 and 1 little doggie.  We are occupying each other’s space.  Therefore, the kids are in each other’s faces constantly, invading personal space, where a simple look or exhalation of another will set them off!  You really have to, seriously, stop breathing.

Here’s a post from my Facebook on the 1st day of school this past Monday:

So much for my brilliant idea: Hey, let’s all have a cooked breakfast at the actual kitchen table this morning to celebrate first day of school. We’ll have a nice conversation with the kids while Bill and I have our coffee. HA! 
After Bill went through all the “effort” of clearing the table (he’s working on the kitchen cabinets and everything is on the table), I had the kids sit down… Bill and I never sat down…
After this morning, I remembered why we allow Samantha to eat in the room watching t.v. And Gibby gets the living room t.v. It’s much more peaceful, for us.
Seriously, No one is LOOKING at each other. That’s a huge offense in our household. It results in screeching, which then prompts a “howler” like the Harry Potter movie, where an awesome parent yells “Stop looking at each other!”
What?    I’m not doing anything.
Also, don’t touch someone else’s backpack or lunch pack- either by mistake or to be helpful. The punishment for that is “hand removal” or bite of your head. 

Don’t touch MY stuff

Then, you have one that is ready extra early and wants to go to school before “on-campus” time…and freaks out because the other drags their feet and in the past, has resulted in late arrival. So they are saying “hurry up,” which makes the other drag their feet more, which drives the other crazy. God forbid they should get to school by 8:16AM and not 8:15. (school starts at 8:30)
One wants to be walked on campus, the other wants to just be dropped off. SIGH.
Thank GOD, Bill has taken them and I get some quiet and a cup of coffee. T.V. is not such a bad thing, for a short period of time- just during breakfast, right?

Everyone thought that post was hysterical. (because they don’t have to live here.) I was told they missed my facebook posts and were glad we were back… I really would prefer peace….but, then what would I blog or Facebook post about… my kids provide the best writing material.  This stuff basically writes itself!  Blogging about it, helps me stay sane.


18 thoughts on “You breathed this morning, that’s the problem

    1. Gary, I tell you, I could NOT get the kids out of the house FAST ENOUGH that day.

      I love my kids, but man…It took everything in me not to yell, “Get the hell out. Leave. I don’t care if you have your backpacks or not. Don’t have your lunch? Too bad, so sad. Get out of here.” … but my dear hubby could see it on my face and sense my body language… Come on kids, lets go.

      Liked by 2 people

  1. Okay, you just described my household perfectly. The only differences being that I’ve got two boys, and we live in a house with enough space where, theoretically, nobody should have to even hear each other breathe.

    Oh, but those two are like sadistic heat-seeking missiles. They WILL find each other and they WILL find a way to annoy/torment/destroy each other.

    It is their job, after all. Or so I’ve been told. At any rate, I feel your pain.

    Liked by 2 people

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