Trista, at Domesticated Momster, participated in one of those many writing challenges, but changed it up a bit to make it more realistic and amusing. I loved her list so much and laughed and could relate… I’ll just reduce me to 10.
I send the challenge to my blogger friends. Let me know if you do, because I want to read! My first 3 pet-peeves has to deal with bathrooms. Apparently, I have issues… (soooo, many issues)
1.) What is the deal with people not flushing the toilet? My entire family, when it’s mellow-yellow, it’s not that big of a Deal. However, neon yellow and turds or big logs. Seriously, stop and flush. Flush again if you have to. Today, just before the post, I walk in “oh, come on!” It’s been sitting there all day since this morning. Lovely.
2.) You walk into the restroom stall at work, and there’s frickin’ debris in there. (and the next stall, and the next stall) What the hell happened a shit storm? Tornado? Am I in the LADIES room? Seat covers half in the container, half out. Bits of this and that littered on the floor. Half toilet paper roll, unraveled as it fell to the floor and rolled across the entire stall floor. Someone was having a party in here.
3) Parks that don’t want you to use toilet paper, designed so it’s very
difficult to get the paper off the roll– it breaks 1 small square at a time and it’s too tight to even make the roll spin (at all)- I found a trick to that one- don’t roll the roll- simply take the tp and unwind it off the roll as it remains stationary until you get a decent wad. HA! Outsmarted you. I will have my TP to wipe my va-jay-jay and arse!
4) Coaches that keep moving practice locations and times on us. This one really pisses me off. All they care about is their schedule and expect us to say “Oh, okay, no problem.” Bunch of F’ers. And it’s never easy to find the field because there are soccer fields everywhere in Southern, CA. “Did you find us?” uh, yeah, idiot, we’re here aren’t we? After we drove around several fields all in the same vicinity, found parking, and walked a distance…we eventually f’in found you.
5) Changes in soccer schedules and the club doesn’t tell the team. Okay, we have a 12:00 game at Sheep Hills. Where’s the other team? Later get an e-mail, ohhh we revised the schedule one should have gone out to you. Did you get it? (you know we didn’t asshole, because you never sent it to anyone, but the other team) Your game was switched to 3:45. You now forfeit and owe Referee dues- WTF?
6) Buying those dollar Scratchers at the grocery/liquor store and never winning anything. Seriously, can’t even get a buck back. We’re lucky if we get additional scratcher ticket. Same goes for the quick pick on Super Lotto-we’re lucky if we even get 1 number.
7) Allergies- they suck! I’m sitting here right now trying to type this and my eyes are itching and my nose has started running, and I realize stupid dog is next to me and probably ran into grassy area, picking up something from the outside, that is affecting me. Thanks, dog. Get away from me.
8) Rough pedicurists and over charging– seriously, WTF? OUCH! You’re HURTING ME! They look at you like you’re crazy and overly -sensitive. Look, witch, you just cut me. I’m bleeding. Owie! There are 2 ladies I refuse to have when I walk in to my nail salon. (Go sit at number 4.) OH, hell no! I’ve had her before and then they get all pissy when you ask for someone else. They talk smack about you in another language. Callous remover? $5.00 more. That’s part of the pedicure, greedy SOBs!
9) Kids asking when’s dinner- when they just ate dinner! And then proceed to argue with you that dinner was a snack and they still need to eat dinner. If you don’t give them more food, they act like you’re starving them and haven’t had a meal in 5 days! Apparently, we gave birth to hobbits- That was first breakfast, now we need 2nd breakfast. (sigh…Send the horsemen ghosty Kingsmen from Lord of The Rings- they have the ring, they have Precious.)
10) Annoying co-workers bad habits- What is the deal with the person that hums constantly, someone that whispers _ spspspsspsps constantly, loud speaker phone guy (pick up the phone), throat/nasal passage clearer guy (hock a lugey already and be done with it), slurper-gulper coffee person (for the love of God, please finish your drink already) smelly guy (take a shower and use deodorant, please) smelly girl (No! strong perfume is never a good idea)
…and that is my rant today… I feel much better. 🙂